Marshall's first job: Proving himself to fans
If Brandon Marshall were acting, his performance for the Chicago media Friday would have been worthy of an Oscar.
And it's something many Bears fans wondered about after watching Marshall meet the press in Lake Forest.
But only Marshall knows if he was speaking from the heart. Only he knows if his eloquence was born of an honest desire to start over. Only he knows if the pain of which he spoke is enough to keep him from stumbling again.
For what it's worth, and having experienced emotional disorder from a very short distance, Marshall appeared completely genuine — and completely vulnerable to a condition that might be in remission, but is always hiding in a dark hallway around the corner.
I think the new Bears receiver was all as he appeared Friday, a man born of the slums, a product of childhood misery, abuse and family dysfunction that produced an extremely angry and ferocious football player who is both potential felon and Pro Bowler at the same time.
Not only did Marshall not try to hide from it Friday, he made no excuses for his behavior. Like an addict in recovery, he owned up to his past.
“Given my history, I definitely understand the concern or the questions. I understand and I get the perception out there,” Marshall said. “Those are the seeds that I planted early on in my career up until last year.”
He also thinks he will be exonerated once a thorough review of the New York nightclub incident last weekend is completed.
If he is cleared of wrongdoing, Bears fans might start believing they've got a changed man, someone brave enough to admit he has borderline personality disorder and has survived therapy to come out the other side a different person, not to mention spokesman and mentor with a foundation created to help those similarly afflicted.
If Marshall is not telling the truth about New York, well, then he's still a Pro Bowl wide receiver who is so talented that he can change the entire outlook of a team.
Either way, Marshall knows Chicago is skeptical and that he will be watched closely.
“Unfortunately, sometimes perception is reality and I'm OK with that,” Marshall said. “The only thing I can do is come to work every day and be the best teammate I can be, the best receiver I can be, and be an asset to this community.”
Standing emotionally naked before a Chicago audience, Marshall was impressive and stirring, delivering a powerful message of interest in helping others.
It would take a fair dose of cynicism to have watched him Friday and considered him insincere, but it is Marshall's past behavior that forces a reasonable person to reserve judgment.
“For me to go through treatment last off-season and see a change in myself and have that feeling now that I can live a healthy and effective life is an amazing experience,” Marshall said. “To be able to say I'm still married and see relationships around me healing, it's amazing.
“I have the blueprint for families that are suffering. The divorce rate is high and…kids are growing up not understanding what marriage is about, not seeing love in their families, not seeing love and communication in their communities.
“I want to be a pioneer in breaking the stigma of BPD. It's one of the most devastating disorders out there but also the most treatable. We can make a huge impact.
“I used to think my purpose in life was catching touchdown passes and maybe one day getting in the Hall of Fame, but that's not my mission. My football ability has given me a platform for something bigger.”
The humble nature of the news conference was such that Jay Cutler attended in support of Marshall and volunteered that he occasionally seeks therapy himself.
“(Marshall is) impressive,” Cutler said to the gathered media. “I think he has his stuff together more than 90 percent of the people in this room.”
Well, that's setting the bar slightly above a sewer cover.
“He's 28 years old and he's a grown man,” Cutler said. “He's been through bad experiences and been through a lot of good experiences and he understands he's responsible for himself.”
Marshall said as much, admitting he used to be a ticking time bomb, someone who never verbally expressed his emotions, especially his anger, and by internalizing he was always on the verge of explosion, causing many of the problems for which he is well known.
The contradiction is that his violent behavior also made him one of the best players in the NFL.
“When you saw the beast banging myself in the head, being intense, screaming and yelling, that's what made me good,” Marshall said. “The anger, the pain inside me, made me good on the field.
“Going through treatment and going through things that happened to me when I was 6 years old, it made me a softer person and definitely took away some of the intensity.
“I still have the same passion for the game, but off the field it's made me so much softer, so much lighter, so much healthier.”
His self-awareness is impressive, and yet Marshall doesn't think being out late in New York is in any way dangerous considering his past, which is something of a red flag.
“It's not the places or things. It's the person,” Marshall said. “My wife and I want to continue to travel and enjoy our lives before we have children. Maybe next time be smarter and travel with a bodyguard, or maybe talk to NFL security ahead of time when we're going somewhere unfamiliar.
“Things and places are not a problem. It's been me.”
Marshall knows he must continue with therapy, but he believes now he's on the right path and in the right place, surrounded by players and coaches who understand him.
Ultimately, however, only Marshall will determine his future.
“Hopefully, this is not a pit stop. Hopefully, this is where I end my career and this is a place I can call home,” Marshall said. “I'm going to do everything I can to be an asset to this team and this community, and prove to Chicago that I'm here to stay.”
brozner@dailyherald.com
Ÿ Listen to Barry Rozner from 9 a.m. to noon Sundays on the Score's “Hit and Run” show at WSCR 670-AM, and follow him @BarryRozner on Twitter.