Valentine’s Day debate in Indian Prairie

Stew Lambert fondly remembers getting a valentine from his first-grade teacher.

“I had a crush on her and it made my life,” he said.

Today, Lambert is upset his son won’t experience a traditional Valentine’s Day at Clow Elementary School in Naperville.

“It appears that what I remember as a holiday party for Valentine’s Day and/or Halloween doesn’t exist at Clow and I think it exists at other schools in the district,” he told Indian Prairie Unit District 204 school board members Monday.

His complaints triggered a heated debate among board members about how the district sets its agenda.

Before the meeting, board member Dawn DeSart had asked by e-mail for the Valentine’s Day issue to be added to the district’s agenda, but it wasn’t.

“You said we’re too busy and I don’t think we’re too busy to be responsive,” DeSart told board President Curt Bradshaw.

Bradshaw said he was following an agreed-upon board process to choose specific goals and issues to address throughout the year.

“Personally, I’d like to stick to what we’ve laid out as the work before us,” he said.

Bradshaw later said addressing matters out of turn isn’t fair to other constituents whose issues weren’t on the agenda. Board members Cathy Piehl and Susan Rasmus agreed.

“Dawn, I have a million things that I would love to discuss too,” Rasmus said.

“I’d rather stick with the schedule that we have,” Piehl said. “It was made to ensure we don’t take other things off.”

DeSart argued that the board needs to be flexible. “Some things happen in the course of a year that pop up,” she said.

Board members then agreed to meet in May or June to discuss parameters for addressing unexpected issues.

Meanwhile, community members upset about Valentine’s Day were asked to work with their school.

Rasmus said she supported valentine parties. “I just don’t think this is the forum to do it in … There are ways to get things back in place,” she told Lambert. “If you feel something is missing, talk to your PTA president. Get involved in the PTA.”

After the meeting, parents from Clow said the fun had been stripped from Valentine’s Day.

They like that students are making “Have a Heart” T-shirts to wear on Valentine’s Day. But making cards was described by the school as a good handwriting exercise; there is no party planned; and no treats are allowed. Kids can give each other pencils or erasers as long as they are kept for use at school.

Parents also said Halloween festivities, now held as an after-school event, should happen during the school day, particularly because it has been popular in the past. “That’s the community speaking and saying they value this,” said Chris Bickler, a Clow parent and PTA secretary.

Renata Silva was upset to learn Valentine’s Day at Fry Elementary School has become “Friendship Day.” In fact, Fry students use the term interchangeably with Valentine’s Day and have a party and perform a service project to celebrate the holiday, according to district officials.

As an immigrant from Czechoslovakia, Silva has learned a lot about American customs from her children’s school experiences. “For me, it is important to learn an American way of living,” she said.

Celebrations for holidays vary throughout the district because of a policy created in 2007 that allows individual principals and the executive boards of parent teacher associations to decide what type of events are best for their particular school, said Martha Baumann, assistant superintendent of elementary leadership services.

Schools are required to notify parents about any plans, to conduct a survey and then to share those results with the public. The public also is required to be notified when celebration plans are discussed by the PTA.

The policy was created so schools could be responsive to allergies and cultural concerns, Baumann said. “Some of the populations have changed and different viewpoints have come in,” she said. “The idea behind the policy is that each school could wrestle with the particulars that pertain to that school.”

Lambert said he agrees that schools should be sensitive to other cultures, but not at the expense of doing away with traditions. “I want to see our kids celebrate Halloween and Valentine’s Day,” he said. “They are missing out on traditional American cultural things.”

Indian Prairie covers portions of Naperville, Aurora, Bolingbrook and Plainfield.