Carol Stream Tree of Lights helps families grieve

As bereavement coordinator for CNS Home Health & Hospice in Carol Stream, Lillian Morgan-Lewis has heard tragic stories of people trying to get over the death of loved ones. The stories of coping, however, get even more difficult as the holidays approach.

Families used to their holiday traditions often have a tough time changing them once their family members die.

“Because death comes to us so rarely, there is a difficulty understanding how to respond to the pain that comes with it,” Morgan-Lewis told an audience of more than 100 on Sunday, noting that families deal directly with death on average every 10 to 17 years. “Allow yourself to dispel the sense that you need to duplicate any given day or tradition. Life is a fluid and dynamic motion. It's not static and is filled with ups and down. It's we who have to adopt attitudes of flexibility and malleability.”

Morgan-Lewis was the keynote speaker during the hospice's 20th Annual Tree of Lights, which brought together families that have had to deal with death or poor health in their families. Family members were encouraged to place an ornament on three trees at the front of the room at Cantigny Park.

Morgan-Lewis told attendees that holiday celebrations after a family member dies should be looked at as a time to “think outside of the box” and establish new traditions.

“There is always the possibility that in the midst of your sadness, you may experience goodness on any given day of celebration,” she said.

Between 300 and 400 people bought ornaments for the hospice fundraiser, said Central DuPage Hospital Donor Relations Coordinator Candy Daly.

“It's a nice day to talk about how to get through the holidays,” she said. “It can be hard for people going through the grieving process.”

Daly said one of the most important aspects of the day was the hour or so after the keynote speaker, during which families could talk to others at the event.

“It gives a good outlet for people who have experienced a loss,” she said. “It's a wonderful way to be together with people who have experienced the same thing. The tree-lighting represents hope and light.”

Tree: ‘The tree-lighting represents hope and light'