The spillover effects of BP sponsoring Cubs/Sox series
During a Monday morning news conference in late April, BP spokeswoman Linda "Not That" Bartman announced that her giant petroleum company would be the sponsor of the BP Crosstown Cup given to whichever of our two baseball teams finishes on top after the annual crosstown series between the Cubs and the White Sox, which starts today. Meanwhile, officials confirmed before the BP Crosstown Cup announcement that some oil was leaking from a BP deepwater well in the Gulf of Mexico where a rig had exploded days earlier.
Since the Cubs and Sox inked that Crosstown Cup deal with BP, we have suffered one of the most calamitous, cataclysmic, messy, maddening and seemingly irreversible disasters in natural history. And (pretend you can't see this joke floating toward the beach from miles away), the oil spill got worse, too.
On the day the teams announced that BP would be sponsoring the Crosstown Cup, the Sox had won three straight and were closing in on a .500 record. The Cubs, winners of four straight, were 10-10 and just a game-and-a-half in back of the Cardinals. And BP stock was trading for almost $60 a share.
Now the Sox are nine games back of first-place Minnesota and seem dead in the water. The Cubs seem to have settled into a level below .500. And BP stock is trading at $32.78, while the company continues to hemorrhage barrels of oil and millions of bucks.
When the BP Cup was announced, it seemed mean-spirited to sully the optimism surrounding the Cubs and Sox showdown with a mention of the oil spill. But after seven weeks of frustrating failure, restraint fell victim to the slippery slope. The opportunity to poke fun at all involved in the BP Crosstown Cup now hangs in the air as if it were a Gavin Floyd slider.
What's the difference between the White Sox offense and the spurting oil leak? People will actually go online to watch video of the oil disaster.
What's the difference between anemic Cubs slugger Aramis Ramirez and a toxic tar ball? One is an expensive, stinking blight fouling up the summer and the other is a toxic tar ball. (We also would have accepted "168 pounds," which also happens to be A-Ram's batting average.)
What's the difference between the BP oil spill and the Cubs and Sox seasons? The Cubs and Sox debacles mercifully should be done with and forgotten by October.
BP tried numerous times to cap the well but most caps couldn't shut it down. They should have tried a White Sox cap. Perennial star pitcher Jake Peavy stopped producing soon after he was fitted for a Sox cap.
What do Cubs fans have in common with BP boss Tony Hayward? We want our lives back, too.
The Blackhawks' successful "One Goal" campaign was far more fun to watch than the Cubs' frustrating "One Run" efforts.
When it comes to Cups, BP should be thankful that the Blackhawks parading their newly acquired Stanley Cup around town are taking all the attention away from the Cubs and Sox and that BP Crosstown Cup. Lost in the shuffle is Wrigley's new illuminated sign in the bleachers from Toyota, which made news this year with sudden-acceleration accidents and recalls.
But this Crosstown Classic could have been worse. BP could have booked Cubs fan Rod Blagojevich to throw out today's first pitch.