The road to happiness isn't paved with money

Somebody please tell me I'm wrong. I could have sworn I heard an advertisement on the radio the other day from a company that offered test preparation classes for third-graders.

OK, I know certain standardized tests are required in certain years. And I do see some (but only some) value in these tests as one (but only one) of the indicators of how well children are progressing in mastering the material they need to master at a particular grade level.

Having said that, have we gone crazy?

You know, it wasn't too long ago that I read a magazine article about the lengths some parents are going to in order to secure a place for their children in the "right" day-care center, preschool, or private grade school, high school or college.

Waiting lists five years out, hefty tuition deposits, behind-the-scenes lobbying efforts, major contributions to school endowment funds - there seems to be no limit to what some parents will do.

A real estate agent friend of mine talks about how housing prices rise and fall depending on the cumulative test scores of the local schools. I saw a billboard proudly advertising a new housing development as being in a particularly high-scoring district.

A couple I knew uprooted their entire family from their neighborhood of 10 years and moved a few miles away just so their children could attend a school that was somewhat more highly rated than the one in their old community.

In some high schools, what's important is not whether you're going to college (anybody who's anybody goes to college) but whether you're going to a particularly prestigious institution. Kids who expect to attend top-tier schools are already setting themselves apart by the time they are sophomores, becoming the educational "in crowd."

I'm all for education. And I do value good education. I think our failure to offer a good education to some children today is a travesty. We need to do everything we can to make sure that all students are enrolled in schools that offer to them the opportunity to learn as much as they can.

Failure, however, is not what we're talking about here. The above examples have to do with children in middle class (or wealthier) neighborhoods, with solid, well-staffed, well-equipped schools, with all sorts of resources and opportunities.

What's going on, then?

I'm afraid our society, and especially we parents, are once again chasing after fool's gold. We've been glorifying wealth as the road to happiness for a good many years now. "If we just have enough money, life will be great." Well, we've added "education," and especially "the right education," as another sure path to the good life. The problem is that it doesn't work that way.

Granted being poor or uneducated is certainly no fun. (And, actually, the two tend to go hand in hand - the poor usually get inadequate educations and the uneducated often wind up poor.)

But being rich or attending the best of the best schools doesn't guarantee health and happiness. Believe me, there are a whole lot of rich, well-educated, miserable people out there.

Our obsession with education, in fact, can detract from health and happiness. What kind of stress do we create in a third-grader when we imply that an achievement test has such life or death consequences?

What other important experiences and lessons do our children miss in life if good grades are the be all and end all? What are we sacrificing in our families if all our resources go into tuition at the "right" school? What do our children learn about the value of people if we judge others by their alma maters?

Of course we parents are anxious that our children are equipped to find meaningful and fulfilling lives. And we are living in a society in which information and knowledge are increasingly important. That certainly means education is more important, too.

Let's add a little wisdom to the mix, though. Let's teach our children that happiness is not ultimately found in bulging stock portfolios or framed diplomas. Of course, we parents first have to learn that ourselves.

• The Rev. Ken Potts' new book, "Mix, Don't Blend: A Guide to Dating, Engagement, and Remarriage with Children," is available through book retailers.