Making a federal case out of Rod Blagojevich's 'reality'
Just when we thought Rod Blagojevich's embarrassing and shameless self-promotion tour ended with his firing from "The Celebrity Apprentice" on Easter Sunday, the impeached former governor crawled out from under his RockSolid dismissal for a new round of media glad-handing.
There's Blago on the "Today" show Monday morning. Then he squeezes in a radio interview with Don Wade and Roma on WLS talk radio before he jets out to L.A. to tape an episode of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."
How do we make it stop?
It's easier to kill off one of those immortal vampire kids in the "Twilight" series than it is to pull the plug on Blago's post-impeachment media tour.
After being dragged along with Blagojevich through the public mocking and humiliation, Illinois needs a shower. But a fresh and perky Blagojevich grins when "Today" show hosts read critiques calling our ex-governor a "lovable train wreck" and a "media darling." Both of those descriptions sound only half right to me, as I'd use a different adjective to describe the Blago train wreck, and a less-flattering noun after "media."
After the devastating criminal charges led to his impeachment, Blagojevich ignored his first lawyers' advice that criminal defendants should embrace a long-held pretrial strategy that silence is bleeping golden. He immediately starting popping up as a punch line for late-night comedians. Whether he was granting interviews to Esquire, reading a "Top Ten" list on "The Late Show with David Letterman" or displaying a full arsenal of dimwitted mopery on Donald Trump's "reality" show, Blagojevich has become a household word.
Why would he ignore solid legal advice and keep blabbing?
In a story earlier this year, Richard Kling, a lawyer and law professor at Chicago-Kent College of Law, suggested that Blagojevich might see his moments in the media spotlight as chances to reach prospective jurors and proclaim his innocence.
Blagojevich certainly does that. But judging from the online comments on stories about his recent stint on "The Celebrity Apprentice," Blago must be trying to convince people that he is too stupid and incompetent to plan or attempt any criminal activity. He didn't know how to turn on a computer, type, search the Web, e-mail or text to help his RockSolid team to victory.
"I didn't grow up in a generation that had that stuff," the lawyer Blagojevich, who, at 53, is younger than Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, told the "Today" show Monday.
The ex-governor used his 13-year-old daughter in a story he told about finally learning how to send a text message. He sent the girl a text saying, "I love you. You're real cool."
"She text-messaged me back and said, 'You're weird,'" Blagojevich chuckled.
That's a less harsh assessment than Blagojevich's fellow "Apprentice" contestant Sharon Osbourne offered during her chat with Ellen DeGeneres.
"He is absolutely crazy. He is insane, completely self-obsessed, insane," Osbourne said of Blagojevich.
We can joke about insanity being a defense in criminal cases, but Blagojevich's reality is about to get much more real.
The attorneys hoping to convict Blagojevich and send him to a federal prison aren't doing interviews and popping jokes for the media. They don't play that game.
"We have a June 3 trial date," was all U.S. attorney spokesman Randall Samborn would say when called Monday.
Just be thankful there will be no TV cameras in the courtroom.