Gorilla could keep legislators on task

Crime rampant, thousands of jobless, a $13 billion budget shortfall, and the most important measure the Illinois House can come up with is making it a crime to own a pet monkey?

I propose that each representative in Springfield be augmented with a suitable primate, starting with State Rep. Dan Burke (a Chicago Democrat) who sponsored this inane bill. We could start off with capuchin monkeys who help their owners complete daily tasks - tasks that our reps don't know how to do, like trying to "fix" our very broken state.

We could go on from there - perhaps employ gorillas or orangutans to keep order and apply a bit of pressure to ensure that the reps stay on task. Primates are known for their intelligence. We could watch them come up with a bill making it a crime to vote in unethical, inept, dishonest, uncaring, self-serving politicians. Now that's bill we all could vote for.

Carol Van Dine

West Chicago