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Nobody in any real rush to see this one

The Bears-Rams game was so exciting Sunday, the highlight was counting the empty seats in Soldier Field.

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As if the Bears weren't boring enough, they decided to actually run the ball like they always say they always want to always run the ball.

The Bears had 58 offensive plays - 38 rushes, 18 passes and 2 sacks.

That was good enough for an easy 17-9 victory, a 5-7 season record and enough boos to make you think the crowd was disappointed the Rams fell to 1-11.

The problem is that running the ball is to offense in football what the cheek is to kissing in romance.

"It's tough to throw the ball when it's really cold out," Bears running back Matt Forte said after compiling a few frequent rushing miles.

Fans around here have heard that kind of talk for decades. Pretty much it was a misdirection remark so they wouldn't notice the Bears didn't have a premier quarterback since the 1940s.

Look, running the ball certainly is important in December, just as it is in September. But so is throwing the ball.

Jim Kelly somehow managed to complete passes in January while quarterbacking Buffalo to four straight Super Bowls. Brett Favre found open receivers while setting passing records on the Frozen Tundra of Green Bay.

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"The weather is changing," Bears coach Lovie Smith said with a gleam Sunday. "Thirty-eight rushes is a good day for us."

It sure was against St. Louis. With Kyle Boller at quarterback, the Rams had as much chance of scoring more than 17 points as the Cubs have of winning a World Series in my lifetime.

But against a good team with a good quarterback, Jay Cutler will have to throw the ball more than 18 times for the Bears to win.

The Bears might as well have tried to against the St. Louis. A game against the Rams is like practice anyway.

Cutler did throw for 131 yards in the first quarter on his way to a 500-yard game. Instead he finished with 143, which my calculator insists is 12 over the final three periods.

Since the equation generally is a team runs the ball to control it and throws the ball to score, the Bears predictably had 1 measly touchdown during the final 45 minutes.

It isn't like the Bears ran over the pathetic Rams. Forte didn't even get to 100 rushing yards, finishing with 91 and a 3.8 average.

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"Yeah," Cutler said when asked whether the Bears have to run the ball when the weather turns wintry. "You have to have a downhill running attack."

Which means only that Cutler has been brainwashed into the Halas Hall culture of, "We will get off the bus running, we will run the ball, we will be a running team, we will run the ball, we will lull people to sleep running the ball."

No wonder the crowd booed in the fourth quarter - possibly to keep from snoozing - even though the Bears were leading.

Smith, despite a losing team that looks worse than 5-7, actually said, "We feel good about where we are."

7,343 - 7,344 - 7,345 - 7,346 - snore.

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