Let's play the QB dating game

Like most guys - when it came to girls - I was a slow learner.

And when I say slow, we're talking glacial pace here, folks.

Two examples:

In high school, a girl who sat behind me and who I was madly attracted to, announced one day in class, "I need a boyfriend."

Now, we had been "flirty" for the better part of two years and this direct message to me was, "Hey, doofus, ask me out. I like you."

The silence after her remark was actually deafening.

For some reason, I couldn't get myself to turn around.

Clueless.

Then 10 years later, I was at a bar in the Chicago suburbs with a buddy and I spotted a girl I'd met about two weeks prior. There are AT LEAST 10 other guys surrounding her near the dance floor, their tongues basically on the ground, all with the same thought.

My buddy and I go downstairs to say hi, we have some nice conversation in the midst of the 180-decibel music pounding in our ears, and - of course - we ask her what she's doing after the place closes.

She said something to the effect of having to drive a friend home, but just as we're leaving she leans over and whispers in my ear, "Call me."

I never did. Clueless. Galactically stupid.

So, how does all of this relate to fantasy football?

I think sometimes we're slow learners. We won't admit that some players actually belong in our lineups on a weekly basis.

On the girl front, I finally wised up after that encounter at the bar. I took more of a "what the heck?" philosophy and it paid off as I found, asked out, then married my beautiful (inside and out) wife.

So, let's wise up in fantasy circles on some quarterbacks whom we should be asking into our starting lineups a bit more often instead of letting their beautiful performances go to waste on our benches.

• Broncos QB Kyle Orton. I have Orton in one of my leagues and he is neck-and-neck (beard) with my other QB, Tony Romo, for total points on the season. If it weren't for the fact that I'm in the process of a four-player trade that will give me Eli Manning, I was going to start Orton for the foreseeable future over Romo. Orton has thrown at least 1 TD pass in every game and gone over 200 yards passing four out of five times. That kind of consistency is gold as long as the rest of your team is well-balanced.

• Giants QB Eli Manning. So, speaking of Manning, I always scoffed at the idea that this guy would ever be a starting fantasy quarterback - and especially this year with Plaxico Burress gone. Eli was always the Ugly Duckling to brother Peyton - the one we'd all avoid, or take as our backup on draft day. Well, Manning's makeover came in the form of WRs Steve Smith, Mario Manningham and now a healthy Hakeem Nicks. As long as his heel injury doesn't worsen as the season progresses, Eli's a good bet to continue posting sweet numbers on a high-scoring Giants team ... at least until the weather turns nasty in about 4-6 weeks.

• Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger. Aside from his 34-TD season of 2007, Big Ben has never been a fantasy force. Pittsburgh always beaten teams by pounding its running game in your face and playing solid defense. This year things have changed because that ground game isn't what it used to be. The Steelers have turned to Roethlisberger, and he's delivered with 10 total TDs and a pair of 300-yard games. The ground game is coming around a bit, but Big Ben belongs in the majority of starting lineups on game day.

• Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck. I've always been mystified at how long it takes fantasy players to draft Hasselbeck. (Last season I took him as a starter in the 10th round). It must be a West Coast effect where ESPN doesn't cover the Seahawks, so people just forget about their players. Hasselbeck has produced 23-28 TD campaigns five times in the last six years. In the two games he's been able to complete this season, he has 7 TD passes. Keep him on your dance card - you won't regret it.

• Jaguars QB David Garrard. OK, we only ask Garrard out when there's a pretty matchup on the schedule - and there are a lot of them coming. Jacksonville has the Rams at home this week, then after the bye, the team goes to Tennessee and hosts Kansas City. Garrard is a higher-risk play, but he made some owners' hearts go pitter-pat two weeks ago with a 3-TD, 323-yard effort against the Titans. In those good matchups, definitely consider playing Garrard.

My teams

In the unit league (1-4), I scored the most points thanks to monster performances by Roddy White (26) and Tony Romo (19). In the regular league (2-3), I fell 111-99 despite huge days from Donovan McNabb, Michael Turner and Larry Fitzgerald. In our DH experts league, Adrian Peterson and Co. kept me undefeated at 5-0.

Good bets

• Jaguars QB David Garrard and RB Maurice Jones-Drew vs. St. Louis. With Mike Sims-Walker back on the field after his one-game suspension, Garrard can return to hooking up with his favorite target. Throw in the fact that St. Louis is in town and it's a points bonanza for Garrard owners this week. As for MJD, he'd better break out this week or his owners can officially hit the panic button.

• Rams RB Steven Jackson and WR Donnie Avery at Jacksonville. Imagine what kind of running back Jackson would be on a real football team. He'd score 12-15 times and flirt with 2,200 yards from scrimmage. It's sad what the Rams have made him, but he'll score this week. ... Avery's been picking up the pace and is flirting with solid WR3 status.

Bad bets

• Chargers RB LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Denver. Here's the stat line I envision for Lost Tread: 12 carries, 28 yards; 1 catch, 5 yards. If you're lucky, he'll score a cheap TD when someone else get dragged down on the 1-yard line.

• Texans WR Kevin Walter at Cincinnati. Walter returned from injury in Week 3 with a bang, but the last two weeks he has just 5 catches for 78 yards. The Bengals are not the Bengals of old, and although Houston will try to throw, it will not be easy.

jdietz@dailyherald.com

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