When it comes to dealing with disappointment, practice really helps

As I walk out of Wrigley Field after the last disappointing game of a very disappointing season in what concluded a very, very disappointing century for my Cubs, I smile contentedly. Amid all the Cubs doom, I had a great little Wrigley Field story fall into my lap, one that provided an uplifting answer to this year's angry "What else you got?" lament. I confidently promised my editors that the resulting column would be good enough to merit a special place on today's front page.

Then Monday arrived and that great little column slipped from my grasp like a ground ball trickling through Leon Durham's legs. You see my column here, in its usual space.

Wednesday marks the 25th anniversary of the baseball rolling past Durham. The 1984 Chicago Cubs, owners of the best regular-season record in the National League that season, needed one more victory to go to the World Series, and had a 3-0 lead with their best pitcher on the mound. Then some bad things happened, culminating with a sharp roller by San Diego Padres pinch-hitter Tim Flannery that Cubs first-baseman Durham muffed to allow the tying run to score. Before the groans of anguished Cubs fans could fade, the Padres took a 6-3 lead, beat the Cubs, went on to the World Series and left a scar on my heart deeper than the Cubs wound of 1969.

My new girlfriend in 1984 thought I was a little nutty as she pulled me from the depths of my Cubs depression.

I think that experience helped me survive the playoff game in October of 2003, when the Cubs once again needed one more victory to go the World Series, and had a 3-0 lead with their best pitcher on the mound. Then some bad things happened, culminating with a fan down the left-field line and a shortstop named Alex Gonzalez making consecutive errors that let to Florida Marlins slugger Derrek Lee's game-tying double. Before the groans of anguished Cubs fans could fade, the Marlins took an 8-3 lead, beat the Cubs, won the next game, went on to the World Series and left a new Cubs scar on my heart.

This millennium's daggers of disappointments delivered in the playoffs of 2007 and 2008 barely registered as flesh wounds on the mass of scar tissue that is my Cubs fan heart. But this weekend I also saw the hurt in the faces of fans unaccustomed to having the agony of defeat pop up in that part of their hearts that was set to record the thrill of victory.

We all got a good glimpse of that look during a weekend devoted to gasping at Chicago's fourth-place finish (they don't even have a medal for that result) in the bid for the 2016 Olympics. Most gold-medal victory parties hadn't even unwrapped the appetizers before Chicagoans learned we were out of the running.

This might just be the Cubs fan in me, but I've always found stunning, heartbreaking disappointment more compelling than watching people celebrate winning. The image of "the agony of defeat" ski-jumper careening out of control every week during the intro to ABC's "Wide World of Sports" is burned into my brain, but I can't recall the image that TV show used to represent "the thrill of victory."

By the way, that ski-jumper, Vinko Bogataj of Yugoslavia, recovered quickly and did a bit more ski-jumping before settling down with a family, a job driving a forklift and a talent for painting landscapes. Leon Durham is the longtime hitting coach for the Toledo Mud Hens, the Detroit Tigers' Triple-A affiliate. The 2003 Fan Who Really Doesn't Need Any More Publicity has avoided any more publicity. Alex Gonzalez is out of baseball, isn't scorned by Cubs fans and often gets confused for the other Alex Gonzalez, who plays shortstop for the Boston Red Sox. That new girlfriend of 1984 who nursed me through my Cubbie blues has been my lovely wife for more than 21 years.

And that column that fell through at the last minute on Monday morning might just resurface next season as part of our coverage of the Cubs in the 2010 World Series.