American prisons perfect punishment

There has been much controversy and media flap over closing Guantanamo Bay and distributing those terrorists to American prisons around the country.

One Tribune commentator, Steve Chapman, wrote, "Terrorists in the Neighborhood" as if they would be released onto Main Street America. Frightened senators have even introduced the "Keep Terrorists Out of America Act." It seems that many Americans are concerned and upset about sending terrorists to American prisons. And so are the terrorists. They don't want to go. Why?

Do you think the terrorists sent to Attica would get specially prepared meals brought to their cells three times a day and when they want a snack? Do you believe that the ones sent to Folsom would get meals adjusted around prayer times beginning at dawn and ending at dusk? How about the terrorists sent to Pelican Bay? Would inmates already there be OK with being spat upon because they're not Muslim?

Black, white and Hispanic inmates around the country would definitely go along with turning down their music and conversation at the insistence of a terrorist. After all, they wouldn't want urine or feces thrown in their faces. Inmates at Marion and Sing Sing would tolerate having their religions put down if it meant keeping the peace.

At Easterling, terrorists would demand, and surely get, special oils for showering. And, of course, would be allowed to shower alone. Other inmates would stand and wait no matter how long it took. Right? The overcrowded Alabama Department of Corrections would make it a policy to be sure to deliver French bottled water at any time to any terrorist who demands it. Bayside inmates would tolerate all-night Jew- and Christian-hating chants. And let's not forget the Broward County and San Quentin inmates who would be delighted to be removed from their cells so their terrorist cellmates can use the toilet in private. (Big Bubba wouldn't mind being awakened in the middle of the night for this.)

Terrorists who are transferred can say goodbye to special meals, clothes, oils and treatment. Their riots, outrages and puerile fits would not be tolerated anywhere else but at Gitmo where weak-kneed Congressmen mandate this PC nonsense.

No, they don't want to go into the heartland of an America they hate and fear. They sweat at the thought of being in a real American prison with American inmates. They don't want to go because, God forbid, there might be female guards telling then what to do!

Dennis Argyrakis

Waukegan