Dealing with those Sleepless Nights

It's one of those nights. Three o'clock in the morning; you've had enough sleep to take the edge off your tiredness but hardly enough to really feel rested. And though your body tells you that you need more sleep, your mind just won't let you rest.

It's not that you really want to relive yesterday's problems. And you realize that it really is useless trying to plan ahead for every challenge that tomorrow, or the next day, or the next week might bring. You can't seem to turn it off, though, and you wind up spending the rest of the night cycling through every past, present or future problem your mind and imagination can conjure.

Most of us have nights like that. If we have too many of them we can wind up physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausted.

There are some things we can do short of drugging ourselves to deal with such nights. Let's talk about a few.

1. Write it down. Actually, when we sleep our mind is sometimes freed to take a new and more creative look at the problems of the day. That middle of the night "I've got it!" can be worth remembering. We just don't want to spend the rest of the night trying to remember it. So we can keep a pad of paper and pen on our nightstand to write down our brainstorms - and then forget them so we can go back to sleep.

2. Let go. Or, from a spiritual perspective, let go and let God. We can consciously and prayerfully give up those worries that we cannot control. And we can give ourselves permission to just wait and see what life throws our way rather than trying to predict and prepare for every eventuality.

3. Work it out. A 3 a.m. date with an exercycle, stair-stepper or yoga mat might at first seem odd, but it can take the edge off our problem-focused anxiety and help us get back to sleep. Put on some music or an old movie and it's amazing how we can settle back into a healthier and sleepier attitude.

4. Talk it out. We all need to have friends we can regularly talk to about what's bothering us. If we make this part of our regular schedule, we are less likely to wind up talking to ourselves in the middle of the night. We also need a friend or two we can even call at such odd hours if needed. I'm not suggesting that we get in the habit of 3 a.m. phone conversations, but it is good to know someone is there if we really need to talk.

5. Get professional help. When none of the above makes a difference, it is time to get some help from a competent mental health professional. Over the course of a lifetime, almost all of us are going to need to consult a psychotherapist about something or other. This may be one of those times.

I doubt that any of us will ever be so at peace with our lives and ourselves that we never have sleepless nights. There are some things we can do, however, to make them less frequent and more manageable. Have a good night.

• The Rev. Ken Potts is a pastoral counselor and marriage and family therapist with Samaritan Interfaith Counseling Centers, Naperville and Downers Grove. His book, "Take One A Day," can be ordered at local bookstores or online.