Online dating class offers dos, don't for finding true love
We have all heard the stories - boy meets girl, they like each other, date, get engaged and eventually marry. Classic no? Did I mention that they met through an online dating site?
As you redefine your online persona again and again - while tirelessly culling through the winks, flirts, nods and whatever else can land up in your profile inbox these days - you begin to wonder if the holy grail is really out there: a long-term relationship, possibly resulting in marriage, born of the Internet.
Fortunately there is living proof that the end goal exists. And not only does proof exist, that proof is teaching a class at Harper College in Palatine on Friday, Nov. 14, called "Online Dating: Be Safe, Smart, Successful," a how-to course on landing your dream guy or gal through the wonderful world of online dating.
The proof's name is Ava Whaley. Whaley spent two years on various online dating sites, and she learned how to push past the losers, procrastinators, baggage handlers and liars and quickly met the man who became her husband.
So who should attend and what does a class in online dating involve?
"People that come to class are a mix," Whaley says. "There are those who have been online and are frustrated and others who have not and are trying to prepare themselves."
With all of the books, articles and how-to information about online dating out there it can all get pretty confusing. "It is an amalgamation of all the info out there, as well as interaction," Whaley says of her class, "I am giving firsthand experience, the class attendees are getting experience from each other and they get to exchange ideas."
So what are some key pieces of advice that Whaley gives her students?
"Know yourself, what is important to you and your priorities. You have to pinpoint what you must have and what you can compromise on."
Most of you have a set ideal in your head, which is fine. Yet in the world of online dating, or online "meeting" as Whaley calls it, we can never seem to find that ideal. We would like to chalk it up to Mr. or Ms. Right just not being out there, but maybe we are just being too picky.
"The broader you can cast your net, the more likely you are to meet someone," she says. The idea is to concentrate on the qualities you find most important and let the little things, like age or location, be the broader range.
Yet even before you start casting your net, there is the little, or rather monstrous, task of creating your online profile. While you may be tempted to copy and paste a few lines from other women's profiles that probably will not tell Mr. or Ms. Right much of anything about you.
"Do not get into the trap of saying what everyone else is saying," Whaley offers up as a key piece of advice. "If you see something similar in 40 out of 50 other profiles, just do not use it."
Since profiles are a major part of your online meeting experience, Whaley not only covers them in class, but she also offers to review and help revise yours if you submit it to her after the class ends.
Whaley's class does not just stop at the computer keyboard. It goes beyond to cover the jump from e-mail flirtation to meeting face-to-face.
"You know nothing about the person," Whaley says. "Take it offline ASAP. The longer an e-mail relationship lasts, the longer your hopes get built up unrealistically. It is a great way to meet people; it is not a great way to date people. E-mail is not the real thing."
In the class, Whaley provides questions to ask your date that do not seem like you are going on a fishing expedition for information, yet reveal a lot about your date through their answers.
Through her experiences and those of her friends, many of whom have also met their spouses online, what is the one thing Whaley believes holds true above all else?
"You have to be committed to putting in the time to do it; writing, answering and meeting people. It's an investment of energy and time."
Check it out. You may have just found your decoder ring to the online dating mystery!
If you go
"Online Dating: Be Safe, Smart, Successful"
Facts: :Time: 7 to 9:30 p.m., Friday, Nov. 14
Cost: $29
Register at: harpercollege.edu or by calling (847) 925-6300
Ready for another rallye?
Get revved up for the Wheels Rallye Team's Great Thanksgiving Turkey Hunt Road Rallye at 6 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 15, where you and your date, along with teammates, can follow clues to find Sheldon the turkey dancing his turkey trot. The hunt will begin at Woodfield in Schaumburg (starting near light pole B2 just west of Firestone) and Fuddruckers in Downers Grove (on Finley Road just south of Butterfield Road). The end point for this rallye will be the Fuddruckers in Downers Grove where prizes will be awarded. The cost is $10 per vehicle. For more info, see wheelsrallyeteam.com.
Get gussied up
Do you need to slough off a bad week at work or all that stress over the economy? The new Asha SalonSpa at the Shops on Butterfield in Lombard is offering 50 percent off some treatments booked before Nov. 25. For more info, see ashasalonspa.com.
Single scene
New Beginnings: Bowling and hot dogs, what could be more perfect? Maybe bowling and hot dogs from Portillo's. Join New Beginnings at 6 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 5, for dinner at Portillo's, Golf and Wilke roads in Rolling Meadows, before $1 bowling at Elk Grove Lanes, Arlington Heights and Higgins roads, at 9 p.m. Call Rose at (630) 283-0776 if you want to attend.
Catholic Alumni Club of Chicago: If bowling isn't your thing, how about Bohemian dining? Join Catholic singles at the Bohemian Crystal Restaurant in Westmont at 6:30 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 15, for dinner and a movie. Call Marlene at (708) 450-8280 to register.