You don't have to play to contribute to a team's success

Nobody likes to sit as a high school athlete.

Nobody likes to be known as a bench warmer, a substitute.

I realize we're less than a month into the new school sports year, but I guarantee frustration already is setting in for many of our young athletes.

It happens every fall, winter and spring at the high school level. I have written about this through the years, but it's worth repeating for a new audience, new readers, new disgruntled athletes.

Young athletes stand all week at practice and then sit on game day. I see them sitting on the sidelines and wonder what they're thinking.

I also wonder what their parents are thinking in the stands.

Some athletes are honest with themselves and know they are not better than the boys or girls who are getting more playing time. I'm just not sure if the parents are ever that understanding.

This does bring up a real problem for coaches and athletes today.

Seldom-used players are likely to resent their lack of playing time and have that resentment fueled at home.

Enter discord and disharmony.

High school athletes desperately want to feel they are part of the big team. For many, they may never participate in sports beyond high school. This is their only chance.

For those athletes, the anguish is immense as the long, tiring hours of hard work at practice fail to produce any serious playing time.

If it's tough at the high school level, you can imagine what it's like in college or the NFL. The problem is amplified because virtually all of those players are accustomed to having played regularly and even starring at lower levels of competition.

As a parent of the high school substitute, you may be faced some day soon with the very difficult conversation with your child that starts, "I want to quit."

Quitting? The season has just started.

Dad and mom, we have to talk.

I would suggest you tell your son or daughter that they are not alone. There are many young athletes who have the same doubts as they wake up each morning to face another day and another practice.

Because sports performance is a quick method of achieving self-identity, particularly at the high school level, the young person who tries and just can't get any playing time may begin to have serious doubts about everything.

Dad and mom, those are very natural feelings for your child, but it's the response to those feelings that needs examination.

A starting position certainly is every athlete's goal, and some publicity is the bonus, but that's not the real reason for participating in high school sports.

Dad and mom, one of the toughest parts about coaching high school sports is getting everyone, parents included, to accept the value of team unity.

The young athlete must learn to understand the value of sticking to his or her commitment. Maybe they will sit and not see much action, but they can gain so much just by being fortunate enough to be a part of practice and preparation.

Successful programs desperately need all their players, the regulars and the substitutes. A team's preparation may depend on the intensity of the practice provided by the reserves.

When the reserves carry a good attitude, it helps establish a positive tone for the entire team.

Sports activities always have to be viewed as a valuable extension of the student's education and personal development. The work habits and persistence you learn are irreplaceable and much more important than the headlines.

Genuine personal satisfaction in being part of a team is far longer-lasting and more meaningful than some superficial award.

Even if you rarely play, you should never underestimate the value of the competition that comes with being a high school athlete and the value of the camaraderie and hard work and discipline and dedication.

I never have liked the term bench warmer. That sounds too negative. Besides, it's wrong.

Contributor. Now that has a much better sound.

I must admit it's a little difficult for me to relate to this subject.

I sit all week in the office and then stand at the football games.

bfrisk@dailyherald.com