Busy schedule no excuse for missing quality family time

Remember the days when moms were moms, kids were kids, and fathers knew best?

If you're even close to my age, you must remember "Father Knows Best," the family radio and television comedy of the 1950s.

The series began on the radio in 1949 and moved to television in 1954 for 203 episodes. Robert Young played the father.

The "Father Knows Best" title was more figurative than literal. Father did not always know best.

The show was one of a series of middle-class family sitcoms that critics saw as an overly rosy portrayal of American family life.

So what? I liked it. In fact, I felt like I was living that kind of life with my family.

I'm watching it again now on a newly released DVD set of the first season.

OK, I must admit Dad didn't wear a tie around the house like actor Young often did as Jim Anderson on the TV show.

But Mom did spend a lot of time in the kitchen like Margaret Anderson (Jane Wyatt) in the show, and she also didn't have a job. Mom didn't even know how to drive a car. Not sure about Margaret Anderson.

We did resemble "Father Knows Best" by having family breakfast and dinner together.

Now turn the calendar ahead to 2008.

How many families have breakfast and dinner together, particularly dinners?

How do people balance their work and family?

That's why I am never surprised when somebody resigns from a high school coaching position and says, "I want to spend more time with my family."

If you are involved in high school sports and have children of your own, it may be next to impossible to attend their games or activities.

How tough is it when you are expected to manage a high school game and your own child is participating in some big junior high event?

Do you unintentionally shortchange your family?

That son or daughter grows up very fast. It's tough to miss those early years.

Yes, I am aware there are many careers that demand more time away from family than others, but that still doesn't make it easy if you're in one of those almost 24/7 professions.

Dr. David Hoch of Baltimore County, Md., writing in Coach and Athletic Director magazine, talked to some high school athletic directors to see how they brought balance into their lives when they spend so much time away from home.

Bill Bruno of Brick Township, N.J, admits he relies on assistants, game managers, and friends to be of help on those occasions when his son might be involved in a major school activity.

Mike Ellson of Nashville, Tenn., was fortunate in that his children attended the school where he was A.D. He actually used his children's interest in certain activities to make them unofficial assistants. It was a great time to get his children involved and to share time together.

The athletic directors stressed their appreciation for supportive and understanding spouses. They said this was vital to their survival.

When they first took the job, they had long discussions at home to give a clear picture of what the position involves and its effect on the spouse and the family. They even took their husband or wife along to some contests to show them exactly what was involved from start to finish.

Many of the family issues covered in the interviews require common sense, but I was particularly interested in how they looked at the importance of one special day of the week.

The value of Sunday became obvious in the responses by the athletic directors. Some went so far as to never answer the phone on Sunday or have somebody give a standard response, "We are sorry, he (or she) isn't home." And they never offer to have the A.D. return the call.

For some of the A.D.'s who took part in the discussion, Sunday also is the day away from the Internet and e-mails. They can become an enormous intrusion on the limited family time, so the Internet is ignored for the entire day.

Sunday also was a mandatory evening meal for the entire family, the centerpiece of the week for them. They still try to have family meals occasionally during the week, but on Sunday they wanted no interruptions or other responsibilities.

Sunday is their day without school paperwork at home, even if it means going into work earlier on Monday.

As Dr. Koch writes, "It takes effort, creativity, and a commitment to avoid shortchanging your family. But it's a battle that you can't lose.

"You have to find a way to spend some quality time with your family."