Ex-gang member pleads with students to stay clear of violence

Hector Palacios estimates that over the years he has attended the funerals of about 75 friends.

Whether they were killed by street violence, suicide, drug overdoses or drinking-and-driving accidents, they all died because of the gang life and its ramifications, he said.

"All that for a neighborhood that was never going to be mine, a street corner that was never going to be mine, a color that was just a color --I've seen a lot of people die for that," he said.

Palacios, 34, is a former gang member who spoke to a student assembly at Dundee-Crown High School in Carpentersville in March. The "anti-violence" event included a performance by Chicago freestyle rapper Samuel Simmons II, aka "Sam I Am."

Palacios, of Chicago and now a music promoter, believes simple luck allowed him to escape unscathed from the violence of his teenage years and early 20s. He not only didn't get seriously hurt, but survived a suicide attempt thanks to a ceiling beam that collapsed when he tried to hang himself.

"Something saved me, but it wasn't me," he said.

Palacios was born and raised in Chicago, but moved to the suburbs with his family as a high school freshman. He was a straight A student during his first year at Crystal Lake South High School, he said, but felt out of place, disconnected from his peers.

So he joined a gang -- and it was all downhill from there, he said.

"I disrespected my peers, my teachers, the police," he said. "I didn't bring nothing but pain, sorrow and trouble."

He started doing drugs and drinking alcohol, first in moderate amounts, and then spiraling into abusing acid, hallucinogenic mushrooms and cocaine. That lead to depression, and multiple suicide attempts, he said.

He was expelled from two high schools, barely managing to graduate, and remained a gang member until the age of 26, when his first daughter was born.

Her birth brought on the realization that life was more than gangs, he said, because he had a child to care for, someone who depended on him.

To get out of gangs, young people need to cut all ties with their gang friends, including transferring schools if necessary, Palacios said.

"Now when I go to see my old buddies in the neighborhood, I act as a mediator," he said.

The point of his speech, Palacios told the students, was not to preach, but to share his experiences because -- once upon a time -- he was one of them.

"I didn't come here to lecture you, I didn't come here to insult your intelligence, I know you kids are smart," he said.

The key in life is to respect others no matter how different they may be, he said.

"In order to get respect you gotta give respect -- plain and simple," he said. "You have to treat people as individuals."

He encouraged students to get involved in activities, be it football, cheerleading, math or chess clubs.

"When I used to be in school I used to make fun of these kids, but some of those guys, they make millions today," he said.

"You ultimately have a choice, every single one of you," he said. "Without that education, believe you me, life is going to be a lot rougher than it is right now."

Junior Areali Hernandez said she liked Palacios' honesty about his past. At a school like Dundee-Crown, she said, it's easy for people to make assumptions about others based on the clothing they wear.

"It's unsafe because you never know what can happen," she said.

Palacios' words struck a chord because he seemed genuine and knew what he was talking about, said freshman Romeo Gutierrez.

"You gotta prove it," he said. "You gotta mean what you say, not just be talking about it. And he meant it."

Palacios is the older brother of Dundee-Crown Dean of Students Delia Rodriguez, who recalled years of worrying while her brother was a gangbanger.

"It was rough to see my brother go through that," she said. "It was heartbreaking watching someone with so much potential throw their life away for nothing."

The anti-violence assembly was the first of its kind at Dundee-Crown, a school long plagued by gang representation among students.

School administrators recently implemented new policies to promote a safer school environment, Rodriguez said.

A three-shift lunch allows students to eat while sitting in the cafeteria rather than roaming the halls with food, Rodriguez said. Also, a new "Charge It Up" half-hour period can be used by students to meet with teachers or counselors to get some one-on-one attention.

Rodriguez, who deals with discipline problems, said addressing the topic of non-violence is especially important in the wake of last month's shootings at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb.

"More and more in today's youth, they are out there, and they are not making the best choices," she said. "Hopefully if we can get to two or three kids, we have made a difference."