With closet of ugly bridesmaid dresses, Oberweis needs change
Having lost Saturday's special election to fill the vacant seat of Republican Congressman Dennis Hastert, Jim Oberweis has another ugly bridesmaid dress for his political closet.
Always the bridesmaid and never the bride, Oberweis is to elections what the Washington Generals are to Harlem Globetrotter basketball. But what others see as losses, Oberweis embraces as motivation.
"There was a guy by the name of Abraham Lincoln who faced several challenging elections where he didn't do too well," a polite Oberweis says Monday during my awkward telephone interview in which I unabashedly use the word "loser" so many times I am impressed that he doesn't hang up on me.
Oberweis' latest second-place finish was particularly humbling. He managed to win a divisive GOP primary. Thanks to his dairy and ice-cream business, Oberweis has phenomenal name-recognition. He had the endorsement of longtime Congressman and former Speaker of the House Hastert, who asked voters to give his old job to Oberweis.
Yet, in an ugly, mean-spirited race that didn't remind anyone of the oratory of a Lincoln-Douglas debate, Oberweis stumbled to another runner-up finish against Democrat Bill Foster, a scientist and political neophyte from Geneva.
While that setback may seem particularly stinging, it is the highlight of Oberweis' political career, the closest he has come to winning an elected office.
In 2002, Oberweis finished second in the Republican primary race for Senate to the forgettable Jim Durkin, who went on to lose to Democrat Dick Durbin. In the 2004 GOP Senate primary, Oberweis couldn't beat Jack Ryan, whose scandal-plagued campaign was so abhorrent Republicans eventually forced him off the ballot.
Runner-up Oberweis was passed over by Republican leaders who begged ex-football coach Mike Ditka to be their candidate. When the GOP couldn't complete the pass to a reluctant Ditka, Oberweis offered his services again. But out-of-state interloper Alan Keyes was hauled into town as a last-gasp attempt to run somebody else.
Keyes, of course, went on to ignominious defeat against Democrat Barack Obama.
"If I had beaten Jack Ryan, would I have beaten Obama? I don't know," Oberweis says thoughtfully -- making me grateful this is a phone interview as my hand instinctively shoots into the air and I bite my tongue to keep from shouting out the answer.
Stepping back from the national scene, Oberweis finished second in the 2006 Republican gubernatorial primary to Judy Baar Topinka. He watched as his political better got hammered by, of all people, Democrat Rod Blagojevich.
"I beat some pretty good candidates," a defensive Oberweis says, noting he bested the ticket of Ron Gidwitz and Steve Raushenberger in the primary.
But for those keeping score at home, Oberweis is known as the guy who always gets beat, mostly by candidates who always get beat.
While I (some might say rudely) pepper him with questions about how it feels to be a loser again and again, Oberweis responds like a gentleman. He speaks lovingly of his five children, 14 grandkids, his businesses and his life. I can't help but think life would be perfect for this dairy man if he weren't caught up in losing elections. I imagine him walking through a herd of cattle and telling politics, "I wish I knew how to quit you."
But he doesn't want to end his relationship with politics.
Since Saturday's defeat came in a special election to fill the remaining 10 months of the retiring Hastert's term, Oberweis will have another chance to lose this race in November's general election. Weary from nonstop attack ads by both candidates, no voters are looking forward to that campaign.
If Oberweis loses, will he finally put those bridesmaid dresses in cold storage and find a new hobby (we need a rich guy to fill the Steve Fossett vacancy in hot-air ballooning) instead of politics?
"I don't have to worry about that," Oberweis says firmly, "because I am going to win in November."
As it stands now, Oberweis has just one more loss and is only eight election victories behind Lincoln.