Libertyville girl named as this year's Relay for Life honorary survivor chair

Rick Marder gets choked up as he recalls a question his daughter Stephanie asked.

"I only remember her asking the question 'why me' once. It was the day she found out," he said.

It was June 2006 that 12-year-old Stephanie learned she had cancer.

"I said it's OK to ask the question. The problem is there is no answer," Rick said. "Since there is no answer, we can only play the cards that are dealt to us and just go on and deal with those consequences the best way we can.

"I never, ever, ever remember her asking the question again, why me?," he said.

After enduring 14 months of chemotherapy, which ended last August, Stephanie is now a cancer survivor.

Recognizing her fight this year will be the local Relay for Life, where she will serve as the honorary survivor chair.

"I felt honored to be chosen out of all those people," said the Libertyville girl.

"I think her exact words was, 'how cool is that,'" Rick said.

The Green Oaks Libertyville Mundelein Vernon Hills Relay for Life will take place June 7 and 8 at Mundelein High School.

Featuring the theme, "Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back," the event raises money each year for the American Cancer Society.

Stephanie's life changed when one day she woke up with stomach cramps. Taken by ambulance to Children's Hospital, doctors discovered a mass in her stomach. After exploratory surgery, she was diagnosed with large cell lymphoma, mom Beth said.

"I was really scared at first," Stephanie said. "I didn't want to lose my hair. I always thought that cancer was just a disease and I would never get it."

Stephanie lost all her hair through chemotherapy. But she never wore a wig. She wore a bandana covered by a black baseball cap.

"Anybody that knows her will remember the black ball cap. We thought we would have to surgically remove it from her head," Beth said.

Stephanie said it was easy to feel sorry for herself. But the focus was fight, get it behind us and move forward. One way she kept positive was to keep playing sports, including softball and soccer.

"She could not run like she used to. She was out there trying," Beth said. "She taught all of us a lot."

Now a cancer survivor, Stephanie said she feels free. She still finds silver linings after facing cancer.

"I realize if I was diagnosed when I was younger, the diagnosis may have had a worse outcome because of cancer research that may not have been done yet," she said.

The family has long supported cancer organizations because the disease is part of their history, Rick said. An annual tradition is walking in the Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Beth's mom died of breast cancer and Rick's mother survived breast cancer. Stephanie even joined the walk in September 2006 while undergoing treatment.

"She did not feel the best in the world but she did it. She walked it. It was important for her to do it," Beth said.

Stephanie first learned about Relay for Life from her sixth-grade teacher at Highland Middle School. Pam Fiedler, who had cancer, told her students about the relay and wanted students to make up a team.

Stephanie and her twin sister, Nicole, along with friends, recall the fun but also emotional moments at the relay. Stephanie remembers walking a lap with friends at 1 a.m. Nicole said they all cried as a sign spelling 'hope' lit up.

By attending the relay, Stephanie said she saw there are others like her.

"It was good to see survivors. But it was sad to see how many people had to go through it," she said.

Chaperoning the kids, Rick knew they would come again as a family. What he liked was it did not focus on any specific cancer.

"It is about everyone who has been touched by it and to do whatever necessary so people will never hear the words 'you have cancer'," he said.

Last year's honorary survivor chair, Anna Roeser, a three-year breast cancer survivor, recalls seeing Stephanie and her family at the relay. Serving on the honorary survivor committee, she asked if Stephanie would hold the honor.

"She exuded a message of hope for everyone. She shows vibrancy, and she is passionate what she is doing for relay," said Roeser, who lives in Libertyville.

Honoring a child who has battled and survived cancer may bring more attention to the relay this year, she said.

"It affects people more. It is devastating to see it can happen to a child," she said. "It shows how widespread this disease is," she said.

Expecting an emotional return especially as Stephanie speaks to the crowd, Rick said the Relay for Life will be a celebration of all the people who have battled cancer and raising money to find a cure.

"It will be good tears now, a celebration," Rick said.

If you go

What: GLMV Relay for Life

Where: Mundelein High School, 1350 W. Hawley St., Mundelein

When: 6 p.m. June 7 to 6 a.m. June 8

For more information: Contact Nikki Furrow: (847) 317-0025; e-mail: nicole.furrow@cancer.org

Web site: www.relayforlifeglmv.com