A useful response to NIU tragedy

A useful response to NIU tragedy

Last spring, I wrote a letter in response to the tragic killing of students at Virginia Tech.

I am saddened by the need to re-send my message in response to the tragedy at my own alma mater -- Northern Illinois University.

I feel compelled to provide some perspective on what we can do to prevent and minimize the isolation and anger which plague many of our children and young adults as a result of mental illness or emotional disturbance.

The Children's Mental Health Partnership is a collaboration of over 200 experts representing all aspects of our state's mental health system including families.

They have developed a plan outlining a series of recommendations to build a stronger, more comprehensive system focused on prevention, early intervention and treatment for children ages birth to 21.

One in 10 Illinois children suffer from a mental illness severe enough to cause some level of impairment, yet only one in five who need it receive treatment.

All our children must be involved in learning skills for their social and emotional development. Children and families, teachers and communities must understand the "protective factors" which prevent and reduce problems and enable those who need it to get professional help.

Please, please join me and many of my colleagues who feel that we must adequately fund the work of the Children's Mental Health Partnership to build a strong mental health system.

Remind your representatives, senators and the governor that we must invest (heavily and soon) to provide the programs and services that will help our children grow up happy and healthy.

The time to act is now. Our children need and deserve our support in reaching their full potential.

State Rep. Kathleen A. Ryg

59th District

Vernon Hills

A father's child, five blocks away

One of the greatest moments of my life is the day I met my daughter.

She attends Northern Illinois University in DeKalb Illinois. She works hard and maintains good grades and hopes to teach music.

On Valentine's Day 2008, a boy brought some guns to campus and killed five students and injured 18 others before turning the gun on himself. The horror this boy brought to the quiet campus can't be measured, not by any standards I am aware of.

I took my daughter to lunch today. I wanted her to know I was here whether she wanted to talk about it or not. If she wanted to talk, I would listen. If she didn't, that was OK too.

Her response was such a gentle surprise that I had to stop that little hitch in my heart from breaking. She told me about a lot of different reactions from a lot of different people in her life, but her reaction was the one that I was simply not prepared for.

My own reaction was anger and frustration. I am sure I am not the only parent who hates this boy for what he did.

My daughter said that she is concerned for the boy's family. She hopes the media and others leave his family, particularly his father, alone. She told me the family was going to suffer as much as the other families. They will mourn their loss and one way for us to begin healing is to forgive.

She was five blocks away from the incident and she was completely safe. She had friendships with some for the students, but she is sure they are for the most part home beginning their journey of recovery. She acknowledged they would need our prayers.

We ended lunch with me feeling like I had been schooled. I tried, and continue to try, to forgive this boy for what he did. I can't do it. She, in all her grace and dignity, has found a way.

I just thank God that she was five blocks away and I pray that she will never be any closer to any danger for the rest of her life.

Paul Barile

Chicago

Our mother's arms ache to protect

All moms feel grief when this happens

I'm a mother. I have a child, a son, away at school.

We send you off, having done our best to prepare you for this next step. You're ready to reach out, to stretch, to discover. New ideas, new thoughts. We send you off with our prayers and our wishes.

But now it's different. Now we also send you off hiding fear in our hearts. You don't see it when we hug you and wave goodbye. We smile bravely when you leave.

And then it happens. Another school has been invaded. Invaded by anger, by sickness, by hurt. Our fear buried by sheer force of will, will to believe in the goodness in human nature, erupts.

Every mother's nightmare has happened again. Someone's baby is hurting, is afraid, is gone. We want to reach across the miles and gather you close. Our mothers' arms ache to hold you, to comfort you.

One mother's grief is every mother's grief. The loss of a life barely begun, so full of promise and exuberance. For the survivors, we mourn the loss of innocence, the forced growing up thrust upon you much too soon. To the NIU family, know that mothers everywhere are praying for you and yours.

Somehow, together, we will find the goodness in human nature, and again bravely smile and send our young people out into the world.

We must. Otherwise the anger, the sickness and the fear will win. Our young people are the future of our world, our very humanity depends on them.

So I will hug my son tightly, tell him I love him, and then swallow my fear as he leaves.

Donna J. Dettman

Batavia