Mutual Ground volunteer making a difference

Around the holidays, Terri Carpenter's family and friends don't bother to ask what gifts she wants.

They already know.

For every gift-giving occasion, Carpenter asks them to make a donation to Mutual Ground, a domestic violence shelter in Aurora.

The West Chicago volunteer is perhaps the organization's biggest advocate, eager to share its story with anyone who will listen.

Mutual Ground is one of the state's largest domestic violence shelters, also providing counseling, victim advocacy and referrals. It serves about 2,000 women and children each year.

Carpenter's dedication to the nonprofit began after she helped run a Valentine's Day party there about 15 years ago.

She underwent 40 hours of training to become a hospital advocate who visits victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in the emergency room.

"The first time I went to the hospital," she said, "I found out what the world was all about."

She remembers the woman's pain, anguish and fear. And she remembers how simply holding her hand helped push those emotions aside for a second.

"You want to be able to take away all the hurt they're going through and wipe the board clean," she said.

For the past decade, Carpenter has served on the group's board of directors. A few years ago, her entire family of 14 held their Thanksgiving dinner at the shelter.

And she doesn't forget the staff, who often receive chocolate as a thank-you for their efforts.

Carpenter spends about 15 hours a month doing shelter-related work. But she never stops advocating for it.

She'll ask anyone and everyone for support, colleagues say, and keep asking until they give it. Leaders, in fact, just received a large donation from a lady in Minnesota who said it was because of Carpenter.

But for Carpenter, the real reward is seeing that she can make a difference.

"When you finally can talk to (the women) and they understand you're there just for them," she said, "you can almost see some of the fear lifting."