Weekend retreat for mothers of disabled children

The women who attended an Elburn retreat for mothers of disabled children on a recent fall weekend were treated to massages, manicures, pedicures, and even had their cars washed.

But for Candice Anderson of Aurora, a real highlight was something most of us take for granted -- having uninterrupted meals.

"It's nice to just sit down and eat," said Anderson, the mother of a 4-year-old boy with autistic tendencies. "Some days I get to bed and I realize that I really didn't eat anything all day."

Abby Phillps of Oswego, mother of a 15-year-old girl with autism, understood.

"The women at this retreat really know what you're going through," she said. "We can walk in each other's footsteps. Having 'me time' and not being responsible to anyone else is important.

"We can leave this retreat refreshed. If there is a parent of a disabled child out there who really needs respite, this is the place to be."

The retreat helped relieve isolation, a bane to parents of disabled children. It is one of the main reasons that Carrie Capes of Maple Park and Karol Peters of Elburn founded Parents As Advocates five years ago. It is the support group which sponsored the retreat.

Capes met Peters through the Kaneland school district at a time when each was feeling there was no one who understood.

Capes has a 7-year-old son, Max, who has mitochondrial disorder and is hearing impaired. Peters has a 9-year-old daughter, Kara, who is autistic.

"We wanted to meet parents with older children, and other Kaneland parents," Capes said. "There was no local support group."

Capes said support is important, and education is also a chief goal of the group.

"We help parents become educated and aware so they can be the experts on their children, so that they can be the best advocates," Capes said.

"We have workshops and talk about how to communicate with your school district, what your requirements should be."

The group meets from 9 to 11 a.m. the second Saturday of the month at Papa G's restaurant at 250 S. Main St. in Elburn.

For information, e-mail Capes at capesfamily@verizon.net.