Pity on you Shaun Alexander owners

Memo to all Shaun Alexander owners: Your running back is toast.

Yes, Mr. MVP, Mr. 28 TDs, Mr. 1,880-yard rusher has become … Cedric Benson.

Ouch!

OK, so that was a low blow, but it appears to be true.

Alexander has put up a paltry 60 yards on 25 carries over the last two games, and he hasn't scored a touchdown since Week 2. His 3.6 yards-per-carry average ties a career low set last season when he played in just 10 games because of a broken foot.

Seattle's offensive line is average at best, Alexander's left hand is still giving him problems, and bottom line: he's just looking old.

Here's what he said after Sunday night's embarrassing loss to New Orleans: "It was frustrating, confusing and disappointing."

Alexander even heard plenty of boos from the home fans last week.

"I just think they're feeling the same thing we all feel," Alexander said. "They want to see the 4-touchdown and 200-yard games."

Hey, so do your fantasy owners. But those days -- in addition to Alexander's burst of speed -- appear long gone. I'd say those of you with Alexander would settle for 80-yard days with about 6-8 more TDs down the stretch. That's pretty sad for a No. 1 draft pick, but it's about what we can expect at this point.

"The bottom line is we're playing hard, but we're not getting it done," Alexander said. "So we've got to find a way."

If there is a bright spot, it's the schedule. Seattle has St. Louis (27th against the run), Cleveland (30th), San Francisco (22nd), the Bears (26th) and St. Louis again the next five games. Keep your fingers crossed that that's enough to get Alexander back on track.

If it's not, you can simply throw him into the growing garbage pile of first-round busts from this weird and wacky year.

Pickups: Teams needing receiver help should put a waiver claim in on Cincinnati's Chris Henry, who will be coming off suspension after Week 8. The Bengals are off in Week 9, but after that you'll have a receiver who had 9 TD catches last season. … Also see if you can grab Seattle's D.J. Hackett, who should return this week against a woeful Rams team. Hackett, out since Week 1 with a high ankle sprain, was my sleeper WR going into this year's draft after a 67-catch, 610-yard, 4-TD campaign in 2006. … Tampa Bay's trade for RB Michael Bennett must mean the Bucs don't like Earnest Graham as much as we thought. Bennett's worth a roster spot if you need help. … Really want to take a chance? I suppose you could grab Kansas City's Priest Holmes, who at 34, has almost completed a miraculous comeback. But I stress: this is probably a major reach.

Bear-ly: effective: It's fun owning the Bears' defense these days, isn't it? Nothing like a formerly top-tier unit allowing 30-plus points in three of the last four weeks. Things don't figure to improve much the rest of the season, either. But you can't sit this unit for one simple reason -- Devin Hester's just too freaking good.

My teams: I suffered one of my most painful losses ever last week. In my unit league, I lost 48-43 thanks to three factors: 1. Devin Hester's 81-yard TD catch cost me 3 points because my defense (the Vikes) allowed 30-plus points. 2. Ryan Longwell's subsequent 55-yard field goal got my opponent 5 points. 3. Reuben Droughns, the Giants' No. 3 RB, scored my opponent 10 points on Monday night. Brutal, huh? My other team won 135-98 thanks to nice games by Maurice Jones-Drew (35 points), Wes Welker (28), Matt Hasselbeck (28) and Terrell Owens (12). Both teams are 4-2.

Good bets

• Redskins RB Clinton Portis vs. Arizona. The Cardinals have allowed 304 rushing yards the last two games, so figure Portis finally cracks the 100-yard barrier.

• Saints QB Drew Brees vs. Atlanta. Hey, Brees and the New Orleans' offense found a pulse. Who knew they had to travel over 2,000 miles to Seattle to find it?

• Cowboys WR Patrick Crayton vs. Minnesota. When Brian Griese throws for the fifth-most yards in franchise history (even if it is the Bears' history), what do you think Tony Romo will do? Figure Crayton has another nice game.

• Jets RB Thomas Jones vs. Cincinnati. The Bengals couldn't stop your sister from gaining 100 yards on them.

• Seahawks RB Shaun Alexander vs. St. Louis. The Rams couldn't stop you grandmother from going over 100 yards. (The Rams, by the way, have allowed a rushing TD in five straight weeks, and 9 total).

• Bucs defense vs. Detroit. Considering the Lions' prolific offense, this may look like an odd recommendation, but chew on this: No team has been sacked more than the Lions (28), and Jon Kitna has already thrown 8 interceptions.

Bad bets

• Dolphins QB Cleo Lemon vs. New England. After a 4-touchdown performance against Cleveland last week, Lemon is the hottest new name out there. But this is a bad spot for him against the undefeated Patriots and without the recently traded WR Chris Chambers.

• Giants QB Eli Manning vs. San Francisco. The Niners have been tough on opposing quarterbacks, having allowed just one (Matt Hasselbeck) to throw for more than 1 TD pass.

• Lions WRs Shaun McDonald and Mike Furrey vs. Tampa Bay. These two have combined for 46 catches, but I'm tempering my enthusiasm against a tough Bucs defense.

• Titans RB LenDale White vs. Houston. If QB Vince Young can't go Sunday, it makes White an even worse bet.

• Eagles QB Donovan McNabb vs. the Bears. I can't tell you how I know this, but trust me: McNabb will not have a good game Sunday.