Criminally scary: Statesville's haunted prison

Looking at a large pumpkin adorning the top of a building in Crest Hill, you may wonder what Halloween treasure the gourd is guiding you to. It could be a pumpkin patch, offering up the season's best jack-o'-lanterns in training. It might even be a corn maze, offering a challenge to young and old, with a nice glass of cider at the end.

Or it could be one of the scariest haunted houses in the area. So scary that it's not even built inside a house -- oh no. To create something this terrifying, it's inside a prison.

Featuring 30 maximum-security cells, (although, who's counting after the first five?) filled with some of the most unique amalgams of Halloween horror, Statesville Haunted Prison certainly commands your attention at each twist and turn in order to create an intense experience the entire time you're on the Statesville campus.

While waiting to enter the prison, monsters roam the premises to ensure that you and your group of friends are always entertained -- even if the wait to enter climbs to almost an hour. It's true, being one of the best haunted attractions in the area means that the wait time can be a long one, but trust me, once you enter, you may wish that your wait was actually just a bit longer.

Moving from room to room, Statesville Haunted Prison exploits all of the haunted house norms: chainsaws, strobe lights, tight quarters, inmates jumping out at you and clowns. Beware the clowns. But what remains unique about Statesville is the devotion of the actors to ensure you get your money's worth with the addition of some of the most uniquely crafted cells of any haunted prison.

There is literally no downtime once you enter the prison. With the "tour" lasting about an hour depending on how quickly you can run from one room to the next, screaming all the way, Statesville keeps the terror coming with its expertly designed and gory escapades. If you think you can go ahead and be one of those cool kids who can wander around all blasé hoping no one will notice you're there -- forget it. You're not safe. At Statesville, everyone is fresh meat to the prisoners.

You are not a guest; you are one of the hunted. And the monsters know their territory, so it's quick work for them to hunt you down. Even with the ever-present rule of "no touching," Statesville's motley crew certainly knows how to get just … close … enough to make you do more than shiver.

While an extra pair of underwear is not mandatory, it's certainly strongly encouraged.

The scariest attraction? Blood has always bothered me, but there's something about a group of women trotting around with large blades licking the entrails of a slaughtered victim that certainly raises the bar when the term "blood bath" comes to mind.

At a very close second is the clown. There's something inherently creepy about clowns, but the addition of a chainsaw and severed limbs from his last few victims is more than enough to leave a lasting impression in my mind.

Statesville Haunted Prison is exactly what a haunted prison should be: dark, dank and scary enough to make you jump, while stalking your nightmares for the next few weeks. Oh, and once you escape the prison, you still need to make your way through the City of the Dead, another horror attraction waiting for your company.

Bring some friends and scream along -- that clown looks hungry.

Statesville Haunted Prison

Where: 17250 S. Weber Road, Crest Hill

When: 7 to 11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays; 7 to 10 p.m. Thursdays and Sundays; 7 to 10 p.m. Oct 29, 30 and 31.

Cost: $30

Phone: (877) 722-7332

Web site: www.statesville.org