Big plans go into schools' big night

October in Naperville means homecoming, as our high schools gear up for the first big social event of the season.

Florists are booked solid making corsages and boutonnieres, restaurants prepare for huge groups and, if you're female and waited this long to make a hair appointment, well, forget it.

The topic is hottest in households with teens, as dinner-table conversations have been peppered with Who's Asking Whom since the first day of school.

Part of the fun of the big dance is coming up with a creative way to invite your date. The hope is that the invitation will be so dazzling she'll say yes.

It's part of the fun, or part of the stress, depending on your view.

During a pause in play at Naperville Tennis Club recently, a mother of a middle-school son asked with alarm, "Do they have to do this?"

No. A "Will you go to homecoming with me?" still works.

But it's the wild and crazy ones people talk about.

Like the Naperville North freshman girl who found a T-shirt on her front porch in the Cress Creek subdivision. It was covered with boys' names.

The attached note instructed, "Wash me to find out who's asking you to homecoming." Laundering removed all the names but one.

Or the two Naperville Central high schoolers in Dave's Floral on Water Street during Last Fling, Naperville's end-of-summer festival.

Adrianne McCown was on duty in the shop that Saturday.

"(The boy) came in earlier to speak to the owner," she said. "He wanted to do something special for his girlfriend."

He'd dropped off a CD player ahead of time, set to play "You Are So Beautiful," and a series of large cards with his message, reminiscent of a scene from the recent movie "Love Actually."

Adrianne stashed the cards behind the counter and put a bucket of sunflowers in an obvious spot.

During the festival, when the couple strolled in, the boy slipped Adrianne his camera as he picked out a sunflower for the girl, and Adrianne slid the cards to him. He held up the cards to his girlfriend, one after the other.

One card said, "I'll get down on my knee," so he did, followed by "Just kiss her, for crying out loud," and he did that, too.

"She was stunned," Adrianne said. "She was completely taken by surprise. I was almost in tears by the end of it. He was really sweet. There were people in the next room doing a wedding consultation; everyone stopped to watch."

Adrianne used his camera to snap pictures throughout.

The girl said yes.

Boys have filled cars with balloons, tucked notes into a bouquet of flowers, had heart-shaped pizzas delivered, and, with the collusion of the mothers, decorated girlfriends' rooms.

One mother of a boy said, "Her room was so messy, we couldn't decorate it. We had to do her bathroom instead!"

One boy in south Naperville last year got a canoe, launched it in the high school pool, and paddled over to his intended date during her swim team practice to ask her to homecoming.

The displays of big cookies, inscribed "Homecoming?" in the cookie stores attest to easier invitations.

Parents of first-time attendees need to know a few things:

• Keep yourselves available to provide transportation if needed.

• Teens often go in groups, with or without dates.

• Expect to attend a picture-taking session at one of the homes, a great time to get to know other parents.

• Girls usually wear floor-length dresses; boys, suits, or at least the jacket.

• Groups often go out for dinner before the dance, pushing the home photo-taking session earlier.

• For small groups, hosting dinner at home is an elegant and easy option. But, of course, you don't have to do dinner at all.

• If your group doesn't drive, let the other parents know ahead of time which parent is driving there and who will pick up.

• For those with dates, wrist corsages are welcome, as strapless gowns are much in style. Girls need to order a boutonniere ahead of time.

• Boys pay for the dance tickets and dinner. Girls pay for the formal photos at the dance.

• And no need to rush to the dance, unless you want to beat the lines for the photographer. The dance itself is crowded and deafening. The early parts of the event -- even those wildly creative invitations -- are as much fun.

• Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy, who has three high school daughters attending homecoming, writes every other Wednesday in Neighbor. E-mail her at otbfence@hotmail.com