Fantasy jackpot: your players are facing Giants or Bengals

Go ahead and smile, owners of Seahawks players Matt Hasselbeck, Shaun Alexander and Deion Branch.

You too, Clinton Portis and Santana Moss owners.

Your players are probably going to light up the scoreboard Sunday with some big-time fantasy points.

That's what happens when a team is matched up against the Cincinnati Bengals (as Seattle is) or the New York Giants (as Washington is).

Watching offenses go up against these defenses is akin to playing video Madden on the "rookie" level. Just run any play and watch players bulldoze right over the defense en route to about 100 points.

You can almost hear Al Michaels doing the commentary …

"There goes Cleveland's Jamal Lewis on a 66-yard TD run! … Hey, there's Derek Anderson (who??) -- yes, Derek Anderson throwing 5 TD passes! … And lookie there, Dallas' Tony Romo has thrown 2, no wait 3 … wait 4! touchdown passes! For the love of God, there's Brett Favre finding the end zone -- THREE times! Folks, Favre hasn't done that since Week 3 of last season!"

"They just can't seem to stop 'em," Madden would no doubt chime in.

Yes, that's the carnage these defenses have left behind the last two weeks. Lewis and Anderson were part of that 51-45 debacle last Sunday; Romo blitzed the Giants in a 45-35 win in the opener; and Favre and the Giants smashed New York 35-13 last week.

There is tough talk in Cincy and New York about how the defenses just need to play better on third downs, they aren't making any excuses, blah, blah, blah.

But the fact of the matter is, these two units are just atrocious. And until we see any signs of life, feel free to start any viable options when your players go up against the Bengals or Giants.

But if pressed to pick which situation is worse, I'd have to go with New York (even though -- at the risk of repeating myself -- Cincinnati did just give up 5 TD passes to DEREK ANDERSON). Even with Michael Strahan returning, the Giants' D looks just as bad as last year when it ranked 28th in pass yards allowed and gave up 19 rushing touchdowns (fourth worst in the NFL).

Through two games this year, the Giants have allowed more points (80) than any other in franchise history since 1966, according to New York Post columnist Steve Serby. That team, by the way, finished 1-12-1.

Serby also wrote that George Martin began a four-month cross-country walk called "A journey for 9/11", and he stopped at Giants Stadium at halftime Sunday.

"The shame of it was he didn't take the Giants defense with him," Serby continued.

Nope, New York is stuck with them. And this week, Portis and Moss owners are thrilled with that fact.

Enjoy!

Dividend time? With Tatum Bell struggling in Detroit, owners of Lions running back Kevin Jones may like this news: According to the Detroit Free Press, coach Rod Marinelli said he was optimistic Jones would play Sunday against Philadelphia.

It won't be enough to warrant a fantasy start, but if he performs well, Jones may yet help some owners struggling at running back this season.

Stay tuned.

Portis trouble ahead? Those of you who took a chance on Redskins RB Clinton Portis have to be thrilled. The one-time super-stud has scored a touchdown in each of the first two weeks and appears to be a solid No. 2 back for most teams.

Still, there are concerns. And they have nothing to do with Portis.

The problem is the Redskins' offensive line is a mess. Right guard Randy Thomas will miss most of the season with torn triceps, and right tackle Jon Jansen broke his ankle in the season opener.

What that means is Todd Wade (10 starts the last two seasons) and Jason Fabini (9 starts last two seasons) are now manning the right side of the line.

"That's a big blow when you lose Jon and Randy," Fabini told The Associated Press. "Randy is the heart and soul of the team, an emotional guy. We've got big shoes to fill."

Watch this situation because you Portis owners are hoping Fabini and Wade can somehow fill those shoes.

My teams: A big thanks to Devin Hester for keeping my regular team in it this week, but a big THANKS A LOT to the holding penalty on the second TD return. That cost me a tie in that league and I fell to 1-1. In the unit league, Clinton Portis' late touchdown gave me a 75-74 victory despite the fact I was going against Rudi Johnson AND Jamal Lewis. I'm 2-0 in that league.

Good bets

• Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck vs. New York Giants. New York's sieve-like secondary has allowed 621 passing yards and 7 TDs, including 3 last week to the 85-year-old Brett Favre.

• Raiders RB LaMont Jordan vs. Cleveland. Jordan, as the league's fourth-leading rusher, is an early candidate for Comeback Player of the Year.

• Patriots WR Wes Welker vs. Buffalo. Welker, like Detroit's Mike Furrey last year, has been a nice little No. 3 receiver for fantasy teams. Watch for 60-90 more yards and a possible TD.

• Jets RB Thomas Jones vs. Miami. Wow, has Jones been bad so far. But he could get well against a Dolphins defense that gave up 157 rushing yards to Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts in the opener, then another 89 and 2 TDs to Marion Barber III last week.

• Bucs RB Carnell Williams vs. St. Louis. Williams has been so-so to start the season but has a chance to shine against a weak Rams run defense.

• Browns RB Jamal Lewis vs. Oakland. Umm, time to put Lewis back in your lineup.

• Panthers QB Jake Delhomme vs. Atlanta. Few veteran players have surprised more than Delhomme. He's a great play this week.

• Titans WR Brandon Jones vs. New Orleans. OK, my sleeper running backs both crapped out, so let's try a receiver. Jones had 5 catches for 57 yards last week and now gets a chance to burn a suspect Saints secondary.

Bad bets

• Cardinals QB Matt Leinart vs. Baltimore. Another tough task for Leinart. Sit him if you can.

• Chargers QB Philip Rivers and WR Vincent Jackson vs. Green Bay. The Packers have shown they can defend the pass.

• Texans QB Matt Schaub vs. Indianapolis. No Andre Johnson means this stat line for Schaub: 17-for-35, 195 yards, 1 TD, 3 interceptions.

• Chiefs RB Larry Johnson vs. Minnesota. It's tough to sit Johnson, but after what we've seen so far, you must consider it.

• Broncos QB Jay Cutler and WR Brandon Marshall vs. Jacksonville. Denver will try to run on the Jaguars. Any success in the passing game will be a bonus.

• Saints RB Deuce McAllister vs. Tennessee. One day New Orleans will get back on track. Wait until it happens, though, before relying on their players.