Beat a Cyberbully: Here's How Parents Can Help

While remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic lowered reported instances of bullying, parents fear that, for some students, going back to school will mean going back to being bullied.

In Aurora, Illinois, David and Kristina Awkerman's oldest daughter encountered bullying soon after beginning sixth grade this year.

Kristina asked her daughter to write down what was happening during the day so she could bring the bully's behavior to her teacher's attention. The journal entry - degrading words scribbled in the 11-year-old's handwriting - shocked her.

"It just made me feel sick," she said. "Nobody wants to see their child suffer."

School staff immediately took action to resolve the issue, but the experience heightened the Awkermans' awareness of the threat of bullying.

Now 15 years after the inception of National Bullying Prevention Month in October, technology's ever-greater presence in children's lives has given bullying a new outlet. With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cellphone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated and even suicidal.

What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children's online world can make a difference, says the National Parent Teacher Association.

This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the federal stopbullying.gov site advises parents to watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby or reacting emotionally to what's happening on their device.

For David and Kristina Awkerman, that has meant being keenly aware of what "normal" looks like for their three children, ages 11, 9 and 5.

"A lot of times you can tell if a child is extra quiet, or perhaps they explode about a small issue,"Kristina said. "You can tell if maybe there are some underlying emotions and there's something more going on than just not being able to find a backpack."

Talking with kids openly - and often - helps too.

"The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,"UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.

"We encourage our children not to be afraid to talk to us," Kristina said. "We try not to overreact to certain situations. We remind our children that we will always be there for them, and we're ready to help."

David frequently tells his children, "We're all on the same team."

Beyond talking, listening and observing their kids, parents shouldn't be afraid to make and enforce rules for online activities, experts say.

The Awkerman parents allow their children to use technology, but with clear boundaries in place. Social media is permitted only on a monitored, shared family account with limited followers.

"The kids still get to have fun and show exciting things they found outside or things that they enjoy doing," David said, "but they're not exposed to indefinite search options or other people's photos or comments."

David and Kristina also password-protected all their devices, so the children need to ask for permission to use electronics.

"It helps us keep an eye on what they're playing, what they're looking at, and how long they're on a device," Kristina said.

The family cited the tips and reminders they've considered together with their kids from free resources available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah's Witnesses.

One of the Awkermans' daughters especially recommended the site's "Young People Ask" article series as a source of practical advice.

The whiteboard animation videos, such as "Be Social-Network Smart" and "Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists," have reminded her of what to do if she is bullied, whether online or in person.

"Talk to your parents," she advised, "because then an adult can take care of the situation."

More information on the activities of Jehovah's Witnesses, including resources on how to protect children from bullying, can be found on their official website, jw.org.