Jim O'Donnell: Dream for the sportin' - if only Chicago fans could vote ownerships out of office
A LOT OF AREA SPORTS FANS periodically wail about living in The Captive Sports City.
But how many do anything about it?
The ultimate Chicago fan protest would be a paid attendance of zero at any targeted team's home games.
A corollary would be an organized movement by the same aggrieved followers to email all radio, TV and other advertisers telling them that their products will not be purchased as long as they continue sponsorships of shell-game "rebuilds" and sports biz flimflammery.
BUT THE MARKET'S NUMBERS work against any sort of effective fan protest. So do season-ticket holders, who consistently bet on the come, hoping against history for prime sports championships.
Consider:
• Chicago's five major sports teams draw from a geographic demo of close to 9 million people. That doesn't include tourists and business travelers, both vibrant segments for live attendance.;
• Inhabitants of Our Town's bigger sports venues - the Bears, Cubs and White Sox - need less than 0.7% of that number to sell out any given home game.;
• For the Bulls and Blackhawks, the figure is even more microscopic - about 0.22%.
SO FORGET ABOUT an organized fan uprising.
Such a movement would likely have less traction than dissing "I'm Just Ken" outside of a Queen concert.
But what if there were mandated biennial votes on whether entrenched ownerships could stay or had to sell?
For a preponderance of the current quintet, the results would not be positive. The spirit of Sam Cooke might be summoned to sing "A Change is Gonna Come."
TEAM-BY-TEAM, speculative - but probable - plebiscite outcomes:
Bears - A calcified organization in the midst of one of its most moribund eras ever. ... Halas Hall could be rebranded "Madame McCaskey's House of Wax." ... This season, fans have already been reduced to cheering for the continued week-to-week employment of assistant coaches.
Likely percentage to retain current ownership: Less than 19.20%, and that's only if all of the McCaskeys, their friends and members of the synthetic Touchdown Arlington vote.
Blackhawks - Rocky Wirtz left behind three Stanley Cups and a hockey corporation that went into competitive free fall as quickly as Mike Pence's 2024 presidential campaign. ... Danny Wirtz continues to come across as an heir who would much rather promote rock concerts than puck drops.
Likely percentage to retain current ownership: Roughly 57%; memories of those Stanley Cups remain fresh enough and both the faithful and now the fan-wagoneers are awaiting the supernatural from Connor Bedard.
Bulls - Jerry Reinsdorf screwed up big time with the Halley's comet of Michael Jordan. ... "The Curse of the Breakup" is a real as Nikola Vucevic's opening-night snit. ... Zach LaVine - James Harden without the brass - is a grossly overpaid sign that the basketball gods never forgive or forget.
Likely percentage to retain current ownership: Less than 23%; Tyson Bagent would do more for the franchise than the soft-serve mild child Lonzo Ball; Bulls classicists still curse the fates.
Cubs - Tom Ricketts and clan finally seem to have their business and baseball sides back working in reasonable sync. ... David Ross may not be the answer but the free agency of Cody Bellinger certainly is a major question. ... As the Texas Rangers just proved, the goal of the grind is to make it to the new "October ball" and then hope for a harvest moon.
Likely percentage to retain current ownership: At least 65%; the midsummer zoom of the Cubs was the sole saving grace of the 2023 MLB season in Chicago; Now if only they could do something about their plop-plop fizz-fizz Marquee Sports Network.
White Sox - Could Gov. Ron DeSantis (Fla.) or Gov. Greg Abbott (Tex.) send buses to get this load of defective lemons out of town? ... Any threats by Mr. Reinsdorf to move his diamond-free plague should be greeted with thunderous ovations. ... A Reynaldo Lopez impersonator juggling melting paletas on W. 35th St. would be more fun to watch.
Likely percentage to retain current ownership: Possibly as high as 11%, if the Bridgeport Democrats are induced to turn out a ton of ghost voters for Reinsdorf and his lip-smacking sycophants.
SO IN THE END, the Cubs and the Blackhawks remain as is.
And the Captive Sports City gets to shred the easels on the Bears, the Bulls and the White Sox.
To begin anew.
Perchance to dream.
• Jim O'Donnell's Sports and Media column appears each week on Sunday and Thursday. Reach him at jimodonnelldh@yahoo.com. All communications may be considered for publication.