O'Donnell: American women bend into ugly during 13-0 overkill of Thailand
"THE UGLY AMERICAN" isn't anything new.
From the USS Maine to Allen Dulles to now, it's a global virus that only gets more virulent.
There was no missing the ugly when the U.S. women's team opened World Cup soccer play this week with a 13-0 Beckham-boarding of Thailand.
The cameras of Fox Sports were all over Stade Auguste-Delaune in Reims as Alex Morgan scored five goals, her team netted 10 in the second half and the Thai women were about as humiliated as Dr. David Dao trying to keep his seat on an overbooked United Airlines flight.
Coach Jill Ellis and her U.S. squad were properly chastised afterward from more cogent quarters.
The faddish flank of the American herd, of course, found the reprehensible display of international non-sportsmanship acceptable.
That includes the overt celebrations attendant to goal Nos. 9, 10 and 11.
"I think our only crime was an explosion of joy," Morgan told media.
"Every time we score a goal in the World Cup, you've dreamed of it since you were a little girl."
And what of the dreams of the Thai women, themselves once little girls?
And what of their excitement about finally reaching a world stage, albeit from a national soccer federation far less resourced and far less sophisticated than that of the United States?
"If this is 10-nil in a men's World Cup, are we getting the same questions?," Coach Ellis asked.
Yes, Coach, you are, so stow the sexist card.
And stow the point about the importance of goal differential. FIFA desperately needs the U.S. to go very deep in the knockout stage to match 2015 viewership numbers, when the World Cup was held in much-more time-zone friendly Canada. (France is seven hours ahead of Chicago.)
From the lap dogs, you will get nothing but praise, followed by the bandwagon jumpers, possibly all the way through to the championship game in Lyon Sunday, July 7.
That is, if your karma holds up.
In the interim, perhaps Long, Ellis and mates can be quick-schooled on the virtues of victory with grace, competitiveness with perspective and the pursuit of excellence with dignity for all.
The American women are scheduled to continue group play vs. a weak Chile team Sunday (Fox-32, 11 a.m.).
Perhaps their ravenous compulsion toward public overkill has been satiated.
Perhaps it hasn't.
Geez, some might say.
We let Clint Eastwood conquer Grenada.
So what's a few more third worlders with spike tracks all over their backs?
CRITICISM LE-FREAKED at the White Sox for honoring alleged homophobia by commemorating the 40th anniversary of "Disco Demolition" Thursday night at Guaranteed Rate Field is such pathetic brain-police revisionism.
Steve Dahl -- who will throw out the first pitch before the game vs. the Yankees (NBCSCH, pregame begins at 6:30 p.m.) -- simply spoofed a pop music bubble that had gone from fresh and fun (Barry White, K.C. and the Sunshine Band, even some David Bowie) to templates and self-parodying (Andrea True, The Village People, Disco-Tex and the Sex-O-Lettes.)
And His Chubby Coho Countenance continued on from "Rude Awakening" hopeful -- his original Chicago posting on the old WDAI-FM -- to national phenom, the only media personality ever to have an MLB game canceled because of the rabid antics of his vinyl-flinging flock.
That's indisputable history. Jerry Reinsdorf and White Sox staff have nothing to mitigate.
STREET-BEATIN': Pebble Beach once again hits prime-time as Fox Sports presents the conclusion of first-round play in the U.S. Open Thursday (Fox-32, 6:30 p.m.; FS1 begins at 11:30 a.m.). A painsville prop bet out of L.V. is Brooks Koepka coupled with Dustin Johnson for one to win it all (+375, or 7-2, well underlaid from a 77-1 natural) vs. the field (-550). … A St. Louis fan named Scott Berry set himself up for a historically adrenaline-filled Wednesday night. In January, he bet $400 on the Blues to win the Stanley Cup at 250-1 and declined to hedge heading into Game 7 (for a max take-away of roughly $37,000), meaning he knew he would either win $100,000 or lose $400. ("I didn't want to jinx my team," Berry told ESPN.). … From the hoppin' fresh file, regal sweetener Jarrett Payton is a partner in the new Flagship On The Fox, set to open in downtown St. Charles on Friday. … Rick Kaempfer will leave no tomato unturned Saturday morning when he signs copies of his hot-selling "EveryCubEver" (Eckhartz Press, $25) at the weekly farmers market in Arlington Heights. (It's on North Vail between West St. James and Fremont.) … Manager Vince Harrison and the Kane County Cougars try to channel an odd sort of '70s mojo' Thursday with "Anchorman Night" vs. the Burlington Bees. The first 1,500 fans at Northwestern Medicine Field in Geneva will receive a Ron Burgundy bobblehead. … And it's encouraging to see that sports advertising behemoth Anheuser-Busch is pushing yet another variant of its trademark swill to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the first man on the moon. After all, following his whole "small step … giant leap" mad lib, wasn't Neil Armstrong's first lunar question: "How can NASA go funky without any suds?"
• Jim O'Donnell's Sports & Media column appears Thursday and Sunday. Reach him at email@example.com.