What to do if your child's top toy request is a no-go this Christmas

Briony Nelsen, 7, isn't seeking expensive electronics or popular dolls for Christmas. Her request is simple.

A pony.

But since it's pretty hard to fit one under the tree in their Willowbrook home, Briony's mom is managing expectations.

“We told her that something like a horse is not really something that people get as a gift, because it requires the recipient to spend a lot of their own money and do a lot of work, which is a lot to presume by the gift giver,” Anne Nelsen said.

“She totally gets it and certainly won't be disappointed to not receive one on Christmas morning. She will definitely keep wishing, though, just in case.”

Every parent has an odyssey involving an elusive, perfect present. One low point was in the early 1980s, when shoppers drove miles, overpaid and, in a few instances, rioted to obtain Cabbage Patch Kids dolls.

Karen D'Souza was among the youngsters dreaming of a Cabbage Patch kid.

“I only as an adult discovered the lengths my poor mother (Vidya D'Souza) went to get one for me that Christmas,” the Lisle resident said. “After going out to stores every night and calling them every morning, she finally was able to express order one from Germany.

“And then, I had the guts to be disappointed upon opening that present: Brigitta had a cloth face and not a plastic face like all the other kids' dolls. I feel terrible about that reaction now that I'm a parent and doing my own secret gymnastics routines to try and manufacture some magic for my kids.”

As fate would have it, in 2021, “there was a Gabby's Playhouse (kind of like a Barbie Dreamhouse) thing we couldn't find anywhere,” D'Souza said.

Sales pitch

Palatine Township Highway Commissioner and father of six Aaron Del Mar has a way with words that's served him well in politics. But his best speech may have been at a crowded store in 2008.

“When the kids were young, they really wanted a Nintendo Wii game set. (But) they were impossible to get,” Del Mar recalled. “I was at the Target the night before they were to be released for sale and talked my way into the manager selling me one that night.

“It was worth the cajoling because the kids were ecstatic when they opened it. They proceeded to whup me in Wii tennis all Christmas Day.”

You'd think the ubiquity of online shopping would eliminate such shopping angst.

But amid chip shortages and supply chain dysfunction, the popular PlayStation 5 video game console was practically nonexistent last Christmas.

Survival tips

So, how to break the news to kids when their No. 1 toy choice is a no-go?

“Prepare them ahead of time so they know what the boundaries are and there's not a meltdown on Christmas morning,” said Jessica Butts, lead clinical therapist at Linden Oaks Behavioral Health in Naperville.

That means explaining “this isn't going to happen” and planning how to procure the toy in the future, she suggests.

Another tactic is helping your children realize their good fortune by taking them to make donations at, for example, a local food pantry, pediatrician and author Dr. Shelley Flais said.

“A wonderful part of the holiday is giving. Take the emphasis off the material, receiving aspect,” said Flais, editor-in-chief of the Itasca-based American Academy of Pediatrics' “Caring For Your School-Age Child Ages 5-12.”

Hyperventilating parents also can reflect on their childhood Christmas memories, Butts advised.

“Do they remember not getting the latest toy? Or having fun with cousins and grandparents? The more stressed you are, the less enjoyable holidays will be,” Butts said.

Still stumped? One no-fail, last-minute present is an experience. Tickets to the zoo, aquarium, movie or holiday lights show can save the day.

There are also a number of independent toy stores open on Christmas Eve with expert elves to advise on a Plan B.

“As adults, I think we need to make sure we're presenting different kinds of play to kids and showing them how cool, how fun it is, to build, to solve problems, to pretend,” said Lori McConville, co-owner of Marvin's Toy Store in Barrington.

In O. Henry's “Gift of the Magi” story, love is an imperfect present. Flais experienced that after receiving a “knockoff” Cabbage Patch doll for Christmas.

Because of the shortage, “my mom made it (from) a kit with a head and supplies,” she recalled. The doll was a bit underwhelming compared to her friends' perfect ones, but “with the gift of time, I realized how great it was ... how cool it was that my mom made it,” Flais said.

She still has the doll.