Grammar Moses: Why 'farther' takes a ruler and 'further' an imagination

The headline read: "In the suburban counties, the blue wave spread further."

I had anticipated getting a phone call or two from readers who interpreted the headline as rubbing their noses in Tuesday's results. That would have been a stretch, mind you, but emotions run high this time of year.

However, I hadn't anticipated anyone asking me about word choice in this way: "If we're talking distance, shouldn't this be 'farther,' not 'further'?" Tom Petersen wrote.

It's a very good question, Tom. Thanks for asking.

I don't have a good mnemonic for keeping this straight, but "farther" connotes physical distance, while "further" suggests a figurative one.

For example: Miami is farther from Dallas than it is from Des Plaines.

Or "Take this line of questioning no further, counselor, or I'll throw you in the hoosegow for contempt of court!"

For a heapin' helpin' of this type of homespun legalese, I would recommend watching Wilford Brimley's performance in "Absence of Malice."

"Further" is about figurative length, depth and breadth.

Back to our headline.

It was about the growing prevalence of blueness in the suburbs, not that it stretched from, say, Lisle to Round Lake Beach - a physical distance.

I hope that clears it up for you, Tom.

By the way, my reference to Miami, Dallas and Des Plaines is really about perspective.

If you're a motorist, the trip from Miami to Dallas is about 30 miles longer than from Miami to Des Plaines, even with the brief Uber ride from O'Hare to the Rivers Casino.

If you're a migratory bird (and I assume you are not), you likely would be able to fly in bursts across the Gulf of Mexico and shave off a couple hundred miles, still having to hug the coastline to rest your wings and refuel.

If you're riding in an airplane, MIA to DFW is six or seven minutes shorter than MIA or ORD.

This, by the way, been a preemptive follow-up for flight fan Doug Picirillo.

Rowed, road, rode your boat

Reader Mike Rooney wanted to pass along a compliment to our copy desk.

A competitor "ran an AP wires service article saying that the Tennessee Volunteers 'road' a victory over Alabama to the top spot in the CFP rankings," he wrote. "Your paper, however, printed that same article to say the Vols 'rode' the victory to the same result. Nice work!"

That's very kind of you, Mike.

Anyone on the copy desk will tell you we don't just cut and paste AP stories. We edit them for spelling, substance, fairness and more, we cut them down to briefs and we combine them from stories from other wire services. The third maneuver is something I've coined as a "Frankenstory."

So it's only natural the desk would catch a homophone such as that.

It's a good thing this was a football story and not one about racing shells; in that case the Vols would have rowed to victory.

A reminder

Thanks to all of you who wrote to me with your favorite eggcorns, mondegreens and malapropisms. If you told me the circumstances of the embarrassing nature of the discovery of your gaffe - the more public the better, news media friends - then you understood the assignment. If not, feel free to send me a more fleshed-out note.

If you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, please read last Sunday's column.

You might find yourselves in a new book I've started working on.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/executive editor of the Daily Herald. You can buy Jim's book, "Grammar Moses: A humorous guide to grammar and usage," at grammarmoses thebook.com. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com and put "Grammar Moses" in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.