'Jacki's life was not long enough': Congregation mourns devoted member killed in Highland Park
As mourners spoke of Jacki Sundheim's life and legacy Friday, they also acknowledged the tragic and senseless mass shooting in Highland Park that took the 63-year-old far too soon.
"We should not have to be here today," said senior Rabbi Wendi Geffen of North Shore Congregation Israel in Glencoe. "There is nothing, not one single thing, that makes our coming together to mourn Jacki acceptable. Jacki died because she was murdered."
But Geffen was the first of many to insist that Sundheim's legacy as a lifelong member and longtime staff member at the congregation was far greater than the circumstances of her final day.
"Jacki's life was not long enough. There's an incalculable number of should-have-beens," Geffen said. "If there is any purpose to today, it is to ensure that her life will abide as a blessing now and forever."
Sundheim was a teacher at the congregation's Gates of Learning Preschool, and her absence Friday was even more pronounced because she also was the energetic coordinator of many events in the sanctuary where her funeral service was held.
"This isn't a normal day," Rabbi Lisa Greene said. "That petite woman with the dark curly hair isn't back there. She's not here to welcome us all or make sure everything is perfect. We've tried to think of all the details that she would have thought of."
Sundheim was the member to whom new clergy and senior staff members turned for a history of the congregation and the ways in which its members were related and connected, Greene said.
"We've been listening for her voice. We've been looking for her warm, earnest face," she said. "Today we're doing the work of Jacki Sundheim's hands. We are the work of Jacki Sundheim's hands. We will continue the work of Jacki Sundheim's hands."
Sundheim's daughter, Leah, said she's still coming to terms with the reality that her mother won't be with her through future big moments.
"I cannot process that she won't be there when I have my baby or meet the love of my life," Leah said.
But she asked everyone to not let their hurt make them indifferent to the world. Instead, Leah said, they should try even harder to bring joy and laughter to the world as her mother did.
Geffen described Sundheim's childhood as largely idyllic, beginning in Skokie before moving to Deerfield in the early 1960s.
Sundheim met her future husband, Bruce, while they both were working at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. Their first date was a Chicago Cubs game, though Bruce didn't like the team. And they followed that outing by Bruce taking Jacki to Six Flags Great America, though she was terrified of roller coasters.
The couple married in 1991, living first in Evanston before moving to Highland Park. Geffen said they modeled the best of what a true partnership is and that Sundheim taught her daughter the importance of advocating for herself.
Sundheim took great pride in Leah's becoming a teacher, Greene added.
Memorial donations for Sundheim may be sent to North Shore Congregation Israel via nsci.org/payment.php or the Highland Park Community Foundation at hpcfil.org.
Another public memorial service was held Friday for 88-year-old Stephen Straus, while a private one was held for 78-year-old Nicolas Toledo-Zaragoza. The three were the first to be laid to rest among Monday's seven fatalities.