Grammar Moses: Forgive my dangling modifier

My friend Peter Page builds high-rises. He knows that if he were to put a beam in the wrong place, the whole thing could come down.

In a much less dramatic, costly and dangerous way, a misplaced word in a sentence can make the whole thing collapse.

I'm not talking about splitting infinitives, which has been downgraded from a mortal sin to a venial one in recent years. I'm talking about misplaced modifiers and dangling modifiers.

Yes, I've discussed both before, but given the number of examples I see, some of us still aren't getting it.

Misplaced modifiers

"I only go to school on Thursdays."

After reading that you might wonder: What do you do the rest of the day? The sentence is supposed to convey that Thursday is the only day you go to school.

But it doesn't. "Only" is one of those oft-misplaced words, so when you use it do so with care.

"I go to school only on Thursdays" conveys the thought correctly.

"Thursday" in my improved sentence is modified by "only."

In the original sentence, "going to school" is what's modified.

In essence, the original sentence suggests that going to school is my only activity on Thursday.

It leaves no hints about whether I attend school on the other days - only that school is all-consuming for me on Thursdays.

Dangling modifiers

"Our Summer Savings Spectacular is coming later this month," the mailed solicitation read. "But as one of our most loyal customers, we invite you to use a special coupon code ..."

Nevermind the overused "Summer Savings Spectacular," which could mean this came from a car dealer or a snow shovel manufacturer in the Gobi Desert.

In sentences like this, what comes before the comma should describe what comes directly after it. If you don't do that, your modifier dangles out there for all to see.

Following that construction, the sentence boils down to the company ("we") being one of its best customers.

That might work for the federal government but not for the business world.

To fix that sentence, you'd write: "As one of our most loyal customers, you are invited to use a special coupon code."

A real-life journalism example crept into the paper the other day.

"Before he took the mound against Kansas City Monday night, White Sox Manager Tony LaRussa was asked if Johnny Cueto was going to stay in the rotation."

LaRussa spent his playing days as an infielder. If the 77-year-old manager were to take the mound and throw a fastball, his arm probably would separate from his body.

Here is the sentence we should have written: "Before Johnny Cueto took the mound against Kansas City Monday night, White Sox Manager Tony LaRussa was asked whether the pitcher would stay in the rotation."

Am I being unnecessarily pedantic? Sure. Most people will understand that it wasn't Tony who was going to pitch that game - even if he might have given the last-place Royals a run for their money.

But there are occasions when you could cause real confusion by dangling your modifier. So be careful.

See the sites!

Marion Blais emailed me about a recent article (in another paper) about two men who were touring the Washington, D.C., "sights" (in this case, the U.S. Capitol).

"I'm most interested in whether they were touring 'sights' or 'sites,' Marion inquired. "It seems to me that your SEE 'sights' but you TOUR 'sites.'"

I'd never given this much thought, but I say Marion has hit the nail on the head.

I'm sure this confuses some people, just as some believe "Say your piece" could be replaced by "Say your peace."

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.