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Grammar Moses: What 'headline-speak' is and why we use it

I've been drowning in emails about headlines lately so, today, I'll try to shed some light on them.

The emails haven't been about political slants, sensationalism or misspellings in headlines but rather how to interpret them.

As I've noted on a number of occasions, headlines are an art form. They're not easy to do well, especially in one- or two-column spaces. But our staff does an excellent job with them.

Tense

"Newspaper headlines state that a person dies, when the person died. It's not an ongoing action, but finished, complete, done," wrote reader Deborah Gaither. "Take the headline: 'Colin Powell, exemplary general stained by Iraq claims, dies.'"

I've known since the days I unabashedly wore inch-wide leather ties to work that headlines are written in a form of present tense, but I don't recall ever being asked why - or bothering to investigate.

Now that I unabashedly wear no ties to work, I have people who can do that research for me.

Deputy Managing Editor Neil Holdway, the dark lord of the copy desk, had this to say after getting bookish one evening:

News headlines have been written in what is called the historical present tense for nearly as long as there have been newspapers, he told me.

It's such a standard practice that The New York Times' manual says, "Headlines are written in the historical present tense. That means they are written in the present tense but describe events that just happened."

It offers no reason why, but, hey, it's The New York Times.

While you might not have noticed, other news media use the same tense: "Suburban man is outdone by his goldendoodle Oscar on the GED test. Film at 11."

We're all trying to create a sense of immediacy to vie for your attention - the scrupulous among us without being clickbaity.

Hey, I only wish I could write a headline about a dog with a 12th-grade education - even if he can't pass the oral exam.

Grammar person Neal Whitman, writing for the "Grammar Girl" blog, notes (he wrote it last year, but I'm trying to maintain historical present tense) that this is not a journalistic invention but a natural part of storytelling.

Here is a reading from my never-to-be-published memoir:

"It's 1979 and I'm sitting in physics class. Dr. Bender is talking about the distribution of force on a right cone by an anvil dropped onto it (or some such thing). A joker in the back of the room is already smiling when he asks Dr. Bender to explain it to us by walking us through the formula he's written on the green board behind him. Dr. Bender turns around and, as he always does, points to the formula with his MIDDLE finger, and the classroom erupts in guffaws."

This is a true story. Dr. Bender became an actuary the next year, no doubt having had enough of toddlers posing as 17-year-olds.

It clearly happened 43 years ago, but I write it in historical present tense to engage you - to put you in that place.

However, when the action we're describing is long ago or predates another action in the story, we'll write headlines in past tense: "Driver bought drugs before crash."

To further confound you, when we describe events yet to happen, we sometimes use present tense in headlines.

We ran "'Come From Away' returns to Chicago" in a preview to that amazing play, Holdway pointed out.

Even though the new dates for the musical haven't arrived yet, that present tense again gives that feeling of immediacy, like it's happening now and you have to read about it.

Colons

"Maybe it's just me or a mild form of dyslexia," Dave Wilson writes. "Every day I read the Daily Herald an article headline will confuse me. Example: 'Police: Carpentersville resident choked, beat girlfriend.' My immediate thought, until I read the article, was a Carpentersville policeman assaulted his girlfriend. I think the 'Police:' is unnecessary and could be eliminated."

Not so, Dave.

Starting a headline with "Police:" means that what follows is attributed to the police.

That's a very important bit of information in the part of the story with the largest type.

We don't want to state as fact that a Carpentersville resident choked and beat a girlfriend. That's for a jury or judge to decide.

For now, all we know is the police have told us this person is believed to have done this. To imply otherwise is potentially libelous.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/executive editor of the Daily Herald. You can buy Jim's new book, "Grammar Moses: A humorous guide to grammar and usage," at grammarmosesthebook.com. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com and put "Grammar Moses" in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.

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