Grammar Moses: Is there a Dr. in the White House?

I'm sure you've been wondering where I fall on the whole Dr. Jill Biden kerfuffle.

I chose “kerfuffle” over “controversy” because it pairs so nicely with “malarkey.”

This issue caught fire a week ago when a regular contributor to The Wall Street Journal wrote an op-ed that suggests the first lady-to-be drop the “Dr.” title.

This elicited grenade-lobbing from various people and publications, even the Bidens.

Jill Biden has a doctorate in education. She went to grad school, she wrote a doctoral thesis, she earned her degree.

Joseph Epstein wrote his snarky op-ed in which he said the honorific is a “not unimportant matter.”

What a bunch of malarkey.

“‘Dr. Jill Biden' sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic,” it read.

Epstein went on to imply her dissertation was lightweight and added: “A wise man once said that no one should call himself ‘Dr.' unless he has delivered a child. Think about it, Dr. Jill, and forthwith drop the doc.”

Oh, brother.

You can tell when I'm being sarcastic, because my lips are moving, but I doubt I'm ever thought of as mean-spirited or cruel, especially when unprovoked.

So, why is this malarkey in a grammar column?

Because my newspaper is not calling her “Dr.” Jill Biden, either, unless someone else refers to her as such in a direct quote.

It's not a sign of disrespect, mind you.

It's because for as long as I've been working at the Daily Herald and reading The Associated Press Stylebook, we have applied the “Dr.” only to people with medical degrees.

“Use ‘Dr.' in first reference as a formal title before the name of an individual who holds a doctor of dental surgery, doctor of medicine, doctor of optometry, doctor of osteopathic medicine or doctor of veterinary medicine ...” the stylebook says. “Do not use ‘Dr.' before the names of individuals who hold other types of doctoral degrees.”

Part of the reasoning is clarity. When you see “Dr.” before someone's name, you tend to think of someone who conducts uncomfortable physical exams and tells you your triglyceride levels are “apocalyptic.”

Consider the vast number of doctoral degrees. Among the scores of them are: music, forestry, Hebrew studies, juristic science, missiology, recreation, management and architecture.

I did not mention any of those for any other reason than to illustrate the breadth of disciplines in which you can achieve such lofty academic status.

Does that mean we don't give the “Dr.” honorific to anyone who isn't a doctor of some sort of medicine?

Nope. We do make exceptions, of course: Dr. J., Dr. Ruth, Doc Severinson, Dr. Winston O'Boogie (John Lennon's pseudonym when he wrote with Harry Nilsson,) Dr. Seuss, Dr. Dre and Dr. Who.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, like Jill Biden, is an Ed.D. None of the others have doctorates, and one of them is fictional.

You might ask whether we treat the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. differently, simply out of respect for his awesomeness.

We do not. We refer to him as the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. (You might see him referred to him in direct quotes as “Dr. King,” of course.)

You might also ask why we afford him “the Rev.” while we won't give Biden “Dr.”

Again, because “the Rev.” applies specifically to people in the ministry (with the notable exception of The Reverend Horton Heat, the godfather of psychobilly).

So let Jill Biden refer to herself as Dr. Jill Biden. She earned it. Whom does it hurt?

We'll keep adhering to our standard, which focuses on clarity.

At least I don't ask that you refer to me as Archbishop Jim Baumann, even in casual conversation.

I am one, you know. During college, I read an ad in the back of “National Lampoon” magazine that enticed me to apply to be a priest in the Mother Earth Church (for a small donation, of course.)

Aim higher, I thought. I made my pitch to be an archbishop, and for the price of a stamp and $5, I was sent a card for my wallet declaring me as such.

On behalf of the Mother Earth Church, I extend to you best holiday wishes.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.