Grammar Moses: A collection of goodies that won't give you a tummy ache
Do you have an Advent calendar at home with a door or window revealing a Bible verse or a puzzle or a tiny picture each day until Christmas?
We had them when I was a kid, though I don't remember if there was a theme. I recall being envious of a friend whose Advent calendar wasn't a sheet of cardboard but rather a heavy box that sat on a table. Behind every door was a nook, and in every nook was a chocolate or a caramel or something, well, caloric and desirable.
He was an only child, to boot, and he would take advances on Christmas Day, always depleting his supply long before the celebration of Jesus' birthday.
Santa didn't seem to care that he was naughty, either, because he was rewarded with a mini bike.
This column is my Johnny-come-lately version of an Advent calendar - a bunch of nuggets you can consume all at once.
There won't be two dozen of them, because I don't have room here. Plus, I wouldn't want to give you a bellyache.
• Do you know how important punctuation is? Consider: "I'm giving up drinking until Christmas." Drop in a period, and you cast it in a slightly different light: "I'm giving up. Drinking until Christmas."
• Consider this headline in a British newspaper: "Manchester Arena's bomber's brother Hashem Abedi admits his role in plotting attack that killed 22 people for first time."
Putting aside the complexity and layered possession, reader Stan Zegel asks: "When were those 22 persons killed for the SECOND time?" We ran a similarly misconstructed headline recently. The solution: Use an introductory clause.
• An "epithet" is a nickname. But more commonly today it is a derogatory nickname, given how often it's paired with "racial." A safer word for a nickname would be "sobriquet," which even sounds lovely. Or you could be boring and just go with "nickname."
• An "epitaph" is an inscription on a headstone. If you witness someone hurling epitaphs, you're probably watching a World's Strongest Man competition.
• The most common usage of "expletive" is in describing a vulgarity.
But grammar nerds (an epithet I embrace) know, as linguist Bryan Garner says, that an "expletive" is also a word that serves no purpose in a sentence other than to fill a syntactic space. For instance, in "There will be repercussions, young man!" the word "there" is an expletive.
Muddying the waters
I mentioned in last week's column that the Seattle Krakens rivaled only the New Orleans Pelicans for worst sports team names.
"I would consider the Toledo Mud Hens as beating those," wrote reader Gib Van Dyne. The Mud Hens are a farm team for the Detroit Tigers. Their mascots are Muddy and Muddona.
Added reader David Harding: "Some years ago, one of your sports writers opined that Rockford IceHogs was the worst team name ever. I told him then, and still believe, that the Shreveport-Bossier Mudbugs was a worse name.
Write carefully!
• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.