Grammar Moses: 'Vintage' is in the eye of the beholder

You've polished off all of the vintage wine in the house.

With nowhere to go and no one to see, your vintage fire engine red 1965 Mustang sits idle (not idling, mind you) in your garage.

You sit on your vintage, low-slung, tweed chesterfield and spin some vintage vinyl on your vintage Thorens turntable, pop some vintage Jujubes - risking those vintage fillings in your molars - and wonder where your vintage lifestyle is leading you.

"Vintage," through overuse and overreach, has lost most of its meaning.

You'll pardon me if this column is disjointed and lacks cohesion. It was written largely during a dream, which is where a drawerful of floppy disks and thumb drives of scuttled novels end up because, well, dreams always seem to get interrupted before they can end.

Etymology

"Vintage" was first used in the early 15th century, having been adapted from the Old French "vendage," meaning wine harvest. That, of course, was derived from the Latin "vindemia" - the mashup (pun intended) of "vinum" (wine) and "demere" (to remove).

I can't cite the first usage of "vintage" outside the realm of winemaking, but it stands to reason that because a wine is defined by the year of the grape crop (except for port and champagne), the word would evolve into a description of age.

Take "vintage car" as an example. Cars, like wines, are known by their age. I'll take that '65 Mustang over a 1985 model any day. "Vintage" as applied to automobiles became a thing in 1937. I'm not sure what drove that.

"Vintage stereo" arose in 1966. Yes, "stereo" had existed since 1930, but the Beatles didn't release an album in stereo only until "Abbey Road" in 1969, so how old-fashioned could stereo have been at that point?

"Vintage vinyl" became a thing in 1982 - the same year compact disc players hit the market. According to Google's Ngram Viewer (which measures the use of words and phrases in books), the term "vintage vinyl" didn't really take off until 1995.

We are a nostalgic bunch, aren't we?

I've found evidence of "vintage" as an adjective applied to just about everything: vintage books, vintage candy, even vintage dogs.

To my way of thinking, a vintage dog would be either a 10-year-old mutt or a breed that has stood the test of time.

The term "vintage dog" spiked in the 1970s, almost disappeared soon thereafter but today is used more than ever.

However, "vintage dog breed" doesn't register at all on the Ngram Viewer, which will forever remain one of life's unsolved mysteries.

People can't even seem to agree on what "vintage" means, but if you're a hobbyist or collector, you probably have a very specific view.

A "vintage" car was manufactured from 1919 to 1930. An "antique" car was built before 1976, and a "classic car" was built from 1976 to 1990. At least that's the consensus I've found during my research.

If I have a say in this (and I don't), there is nothing "classic" about the 1985 Mustang, and nothing "antique" about that sexy '65 model.

I've seen a variety of definitions in the broader antiques and collectibles market, but generally something is "vintage" if it's older than 40 years and "antique" if it's older than 100.

So what do you call something that is more than a century old?

"Relic" is one of those words that can suggest veneration (a part of a holy person's body) or something worth saving from a much earlier time (think museums). Or it can suggest denigration (a heap in a junk yard).

Given my age, if I were a car I'd be somewhere between a vintage model and an antique.

I just hope I never end up a relic.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.