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Grammar Moses: Jamborees of jaguars and awkward analogies

My wife and I were puttering around the back roads recently in her Toyota RAV4, and every time we would get to a stoplight a sexy, white Jaguar F-Type coupe that sounded like it was powered by an actual jamboree of growling jaguars was just ahead of us.

Even though we were on a one-lane road, the driver would scooch over into the right turn lane and peel out as soon as the light turned green and quickly merge into the main lane of traffic.

This went on for five or six lights.

How could this be? The driver clearly loved his horsepower. But each time I thought he'd left us in his dust, there he would be, waiting for another red light to change.

I gathered it was because he was following the 50 mph speed limit.

Sure, he was getting to 50 a lot faster than I was, but once he got there he stuck to it.

As well as I did, anyway.

There is no posted acceleration limit, you see. He just wanted to hear those jaguars roar without having to worry about a speeding ticket.

What on earth is this story doing in a grammar column?

It got me thinking about my twin obsessions - words and math.

I thought my wife, who is a master of analogies, would appreciate what my brain was cooking up.

"Here's an analogy," I said. "Speed is to acceleration as adjectives are to adverbs."

I was rather proud of my profundity, especially given the early hour. Speed and velocity (for the purposes of an overly simplistic grammar column definition) both measure distance traveled over time, and acceleration is the rate at which speed changes.

Adjectives modify nouns, and adverbs (sometimes) modify adjectives.

Are you following my train of thought?

Clearly, the Queen of Analogies didn't. "Oh, brother!" she replied, with a full eye roll.

Once we got to my sister's place, I replayed the conversation to her. She is wired a lot like I am.

"Well, he could have gotten a ticket for reckless driving," was her response.

Oh, brother, indeed.

Gaggles of groups

Those of you with advanced degrees in zoology no doubt glided right past my reference to a "jamboree" of jaguars.

That is the word to describe a group of said creatures.

I'm sure you've heard of a "murder" of crows and a "gaggle" of geese (they're known as a skein or a wedge only when in flight), but there are gobs of weird names for animal collectives that are quite fitting. To wit:

• An "obstinacy" of buffalo. (Have you ever tried to move a buffalo?)

• A "nuisance" of cats. (Have you ever been on a Zoom meeting with me?)

• A "cackle" of hyenas.

• A "prickle" of porcupines.

• A "convocation" of eagles. (Such a magnificent animal always draws a crowd.)

• A "tower" of giraffes.

• A "flamboyance" of flamingos. (They wear their color with confidence.)

• A "barrel" of monkeys. (And you thought it was just a game.)

• An "ostentation" of peacocks.

• A "crash" of rhinoceroses. (Never take a Prius on safari.)

• A "wake" of buzzards. (Not the kind of behavior I'd want at my wake.)

They can't all be winners. A toucan is every bit as flamboyant as a flamingo and as ostentatious as a peacock, but a group of those giant-billed birds is simply a "flock."

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.

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