Grammar Moses: Read, rinse, repeat

David Wilson wrote to tell me he agrees with my assertion that something should not be labeled "annual" without having earned it.

"I have a similar thought about any team's winning or losing streak. Two wins or losses in a row does not equate to a streak. Three wins or losses in a row is still not a streak, but could be the beginning of one," he wrote.

"My question is, how does one make plural the word 'lightning'? Is it "lightninging?' And when does one stop 'lightninginging?'

"It's similar to my regular showers. When reading the shampoo instructions it states, 'Rinse, lather and repeat.' When do you stop?"

David clearly has spent too much time talking to himself these days.

For me, showers were exhausting before I started taking things less literally. I'd either run out of shampoo or hot water every time.

But my hair looked fantastic.

As for "lightning," David, you have yourself an uncountable noun. What you see in the sky is not "a lightning" but simply "lightning." When you break lightning into segments, you get "bolts."

I was going to tell David that gasoline also is an uncountable noun. That is, you wouldn't say, "Hand me those gasolines." But I felt uncomfortable sending an email full of lightning AND gasoline. So instead I'll print it on PAPER.

Well, well, well

"While watching TV, I hear the expression, 'We offer well wishes.' I thought 'well' was an adverb, not an adjective," wrote reader Joanna Kostich. "In my experience, one would be wished good wishes. Is this a correct change in the language? Or is it still incorrect?"

You'll find a lot of debate on this one, Joanna. I don't use "well-wishes" or "well-wisher," because I think it sounds clunky. Because we still live in a land that allows free speech and English provides so many different ways to express the same things, I'm sticking to that philosophy.

My question to you is: What does a bartender do? If your answer is "tend bar," then you're my new best friend. If your response is "bartend," I'll only assume you find karaoke enjoyable and, therefore, you will not make it on my Christmas card list.

Back to the "good" vs. "well" debate.

I would thank you for sending me good wishes, for the reason you cite. And I'd thank you for wishing me well.

However, "well-wishes" is perfectly acceptable.

If you look at trends in book publishing, you'll see that "well-wishes" and "good-wishes" have traded dominance for 130 of the last 200 years, with "well-wishes" coming out on top since the start of World War II.

"Well-wishers" understandably far outweighs "good-wishers."

But "well wishes" versus "good wishes" (with no hyphen) is just the opposite.

Go figure.

My advice: Exercise your freedom of choice and allow others theirs.

No visitation

Opinion Page Editor Jim Slusher, whose English skills are a samurai sword to my butter knife, made this observation some months ago:

"On Page 7 today we state in a headline 'Reporters sentenced to 7 years in Myanmar.' Perhaps if we'd said 'Reporters in Myanmar sentenced to 7 years,' it would have been less suggestive that one can be ordered to spend time in a country."

Touche, Jim.

Write carefully, and if you still have a mother, treat her well today. Treat her well every day, for that matter. If you're a mother, then Happy Mother's Day.

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.