Grammar Moses: Would you be annoyed if I were to ping you?

When I first took the job of managing editor in 2012, I entered a world in which a majority of my day was spent in meetings - as many as eight planned meetings a day, with short chats in between.

Much less editing; much more talking.

With apologies to those with whom I shared a conference table then and now, the first few months of some of those meetings were brutal.

I had unwittingly walked into the Jargon Zone.

Much of it is a blur today. People spoke in the made-up language of apps, software providers, web metrics and interfaces. What actual nouns existed in those conversations morphed into verbs.

I responded to these discussions as I would to watching a fantasy movie or reading anything that features dragons and magic wands: I would enter a light coma.

I'm sorry, but that's my defense mechanism.

For obvious reasons, I have little by way of examples from then. But there is one moment I remember distinctly. Someone kept referring to the overarching importance of a strong UX.

I racked my brain: an undulating xylophone? An unctuous xenolith? An ugly xerophyte? Why can't I think of any more words that start with X?

I interrupted the conversation that I was in no way following and blurted out, "What the heck is a UX?"

The room hushed. "The User Experience," the speaker replied.

Imagine walking into a Dungeons and Dragons (those darned dragons again) game for the first time and learning that everyone else has been playing it for years.

I'm sure you've experienced something like this before.

There is a real uncomfortability with being in situations where you're the only one not in the know.

When everyone in the room is in the know, jargon can be a helpful way to speed things along. But in general conversation, especially when used in a braggy way to show your expertise, it can be truly off-putting.

I received an email this morning from Verizon Business alerting me to a survey it did on corporate jargon.

The company surveyed 1,000 people and asked them what jargon they hate the most.

The results were eye-opening to me. We still have jargon around here that predates my earliest mustache to describe things that haven't really existed in 20 years. But I had never heard some of the jargon in Verizon's study.

And I hope to exorcise them today.

Here are some that were new to me:

• "Boil the ocean" in business speak refers to an impossible goal.

• "Analysis paralysis" is overthinking to the point of inaction. This topped the list of most annoying jargon for the survey group.

• "I'll ping you." I take it back; I heard this from a friend who works in the IT industry. I had to ask whether that meant calling me on the phone, emailing me, texting me, instant messaging me or showing up on my sonar.

• Why talk about "bandwidth" unless you're actually talking about bandwidth? That was one conclusion Verizon folks came up with. And I'm sure Verizon folks talk about actual bandwidth every day. In non-frequency discussions, however, you can save a syllable and say "time."

What was even more eye-opening than the idioms I didn't know was the prevalence of those on the list that I employ in daily conversation: "all hands on deck," "deep dive," "disconnect" as a noun, "heavy lifting," "low-hanging fruit," "out-of-the-box" as an adjective, "ROI," and "wordsmithing."

I will exercise my authority and declare "wordsmithing" OK, given that it is the essence of what I do.

Clearly, though, I need to focus on being more original.

The last one I'll mention from Verizon's list is "big picture."

I, for one, don't find that irritating at all. "Big Picture-Local Focus" had been our marketing tag for most of my career.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.