Grammar Moses: Let's play a lightning round
Who is up for a lightning round?
Sometimes I burrow so deeply into a topic that I have trouble digging myself out. Today, you get rapid-fire Moses.
This comes largely from self-described "grizzled old goat" Jarrie Holt. The parenthetical commentary is mine.
• Safety deposit box: Correct term is safe-deposit box. (The incorrect version is an eggcorn resulting from melding the two words.)
• Hot water heater: Correct term is water heater. (There is no need to heat hot water.)
• There is no "n" in "restaurateur." (But there is one in "raconteur." Remember how the Artie Bucco character from "The Sopranos" would pester his customers at Vesuvio with snappy patter? He was a much better restaurateur than raconteur.)
• PIN and VIN: The N in both cases stands for "number," so saying "PIN number" and "VIN number" is redundant. (And so it goes for ATM. I wish I had a double sawbuck for every time I've heard "ATM machine.")
• Lay down: You can't "lay down" unless you are spreading goose feathers on the floor. If you want to rest, you lie down. Unless used as the past tense of "lie," "lay" always takes an object (i.e. "Lay down the gun, pardner.")
• Hone in on: The correct term is "home in on."
• Free gift: If it ain't free, it ain't a gift.
• If it's spelled "tendon," then why is its inflammation called "tendinitis?"
• Furthermore, if it's spelled "abdomen," why are things related to it "abdominal?" (An aside: The abdomen includes more organs than one's stomach, such as the spleen, the liver, the gall bladder and the intestines. When people talk about having a stomach ache, they often ... but may not know ... mean intestinal pain.)
• Why do people use "that" when "who" is appropriate? "The people that live downstairs" is better expressed as: "The people who live downstairs." Use "who" when referring to people, "that" when referring to objects. (Don't worry, pet lovers. It's OK to use "who" to describe your pet; but use "that" when referring to a bug or sheep that is unfamiliar to you ... see, I just did so.)
Painful misspellings
I wrote last week about words we try to avoid because a slip-up with spelling or spacing could prove embarrassing.
Bill Hill, a former sports writer and editor at the Daily Herald, told me that when he started covering Chicago's NBA team he trained himself never to use the name of that team hitting anything, such as three-pointers. When Bill was around, we were using prehistoric printing technology, and a typesetter dropped the space between the words.
Just put the words "Bulls" and "hitting" together and you'll see the reason for egg on our faces.
Just for giggles, I did a search on the Chicago Tribune's website, which showed 913 results of the two words with the appropriate space between them - including in headlines. Now that's gutsy.
I also found a variety of references to the two words smooshed together - intentionally - so perhaps my standards for foul language (in print) are just a tad more conservative.
• Joe Lasko, who worked at Sears Corporate headquarters for 50 years, told the story of how he was in charge of creating the company's massive telephone directory.
He said he was shown examples of flubs in previous directories that he should take care to avoid:
1. Misspelling the CEO's name.
2. Using the wrong phone number for the company president.
3. Labeling a division of the business the "PUBIC AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT."
Judging by his longevity, I gather Joe never made such grievous errors when he was in charge.
Be like Joe. Write carefully!
• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbau-mann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at face-book.com/baumannjim.