Grammar Moses: Don't bonk on this spoken-word column

In my line of work, I do my best to discourage people from using jargon in stories. Leave that to the trade magazines, I say. We have a general audience, and we must translate copspeak and publicworksdirectorspeak into language we all can understand.

So this exercise is a departure for me, but it's one I find fascinating.

Neil Holdway, who oversees our copy desk at night, was quick to respond to my plea for hobby-related jargon. Neil is a guy who rides his bike to work many days and rides, essentially, the circumference of Wisconsin on the days he's not working.

I ride a bicycle, too, though with significantly less grace, speed and endurance.

Here are some of Neil's favorite terms:

• Bonk: to run out of energy on the bike. Runners would say they're "hitting the wall"; we say we're "bonking."

• Crack: similar to bonk but worse, to become unable to maintain the speed of a group one is riding with.

• Blow up: to basically ride oneself into oxygen deprivation, requiring a quick slowdown, like an extreme crack or bonk.

• Hammer: to ride fast and hard, typically standing up off the saddle and pressing hard on the pedals.

• Pull: to lead a single file of cyclists, blocking the wind for them. "Pull" also can be a noun, as in "Great pull, Jim."

Ed note: Neil and I have never ridden together. For what it's worth, when I'm cycling I have the potential to block a LOT of wind for others, but I'm sure no one would ever congratulate me on a great pull. I'm more likely to be passed on the left by dog walkers.

• Attack: in races, to charge ahead to try to get away from cyclists behind.

• Fred: a rider, typically among serious cyclists, who doesn't care to invest in real cycling gear, or a cyclist who does invest in top gear but doesn't ride very fast or well. Inspired by a real old, cranky cyclist named Fred.

Tink!

In last week's column, in which I solicited your favorite hobby-related jargon, Michele Moore wrote to tell me she is into quilting and also knitting.

"My favorite term is 'tink,' which is what you do when you make a mistake and have to undo your knitting. Technically you KNIT backward to your mistake, i.e. 'tink.'"

Sew what!

Nancy Lyons had a couple of sewing expressions I'd never heard (and I earned an A+ in sewing in eighth grade).

"My favorite expression is 'bobbin barf,' which is a lump of tangled bobbin and upper threads made when the sewing machine jams," she said.

"'UFOs' are unfinished objects," she said.

"A quilter's 'stash' is her large collection of fabric. Her friends may have some idea how large it is; her husband certainly has no idea of the size."

I'm eager to hear about your favorite hobby-related jargon - examples that don't involve needles and thread. Just send me an email.

Old ladies?

"On Page 1 of the Daily Herald on July 9, there was an article about the Chicago Golf Club hosting the Senior Women's Open," wrote Jerry Klopp. "In the article was this sentence: 'Up a green-carpeted staircase an old ladies lounge has been converted in a history room' ... Does the word 'old' modify the ladies or the lounge?"

Touche, Jerry. It was the lounge that was old. I wouldn't know about the ladies, given that the club is too exclusive for me.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.