It takes practice, but 'reframing' a situation can work

 
Updated 10/1/2023 3:38 PM

Reframing is about looking at a problem or situation from a different and more positive perspective. It's a technique or method often used in family counseling.

This technique is also used in the counseling one may receive for all the problems we face after the death of a dear one.

 

Actually, there are certain sayings in folk wisdom that reflect this idea. We've all heard them:

• "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

• "Turn a failure into an opportunity."

And my dear Baheej used to rely on an old Nazareth folk saying when a problem arose: "Don't hate it; it might turn out for the best."

Basically, it is the idea that a problem also contains the opportunity for something better.

Obviously, how we respond to adversity has a lot to do with shaping the outcome. I've experienced this in my own life. I think such situations confront most people during their careers or family life -- or when they face emotional situations.

This all came to my attention during a recent conversation with my sister, Mary. We were, for some reason, commiserating about our various health problems. Not a good idea, but we were doing it anyway. And I said, "Well, at least we are comfortable in our nice homes with our sweet pets."

by signing up you agree to our terms of service
                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
 

She responded that Asher would say "Good reframe." Asher is her son who is a family counselor.

This exchange got me interested in the concept of reframing and how healthy it can be for our spiritual health.

So I looked it up and indeed it means redefining a problem from a different point of view, from a different and more positive perspective. It's probably used in counseling because sometimes we need an outsider or friend to help us change perspective. However, sometimes we can do this ourselves -- change perspective.

There is a sociological concept/dynamic called "the definition of the situation." It means that how we see and interpret a situation affects our behavior and causes it to become true, and happen (W.I. Thomas). It's one of the key ideas in a branch of sociology called Symbolic Interaction.

Thomas, one of the early socialists, wrote in 1928: "If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences."

A situation is a social context in which one finds oneself. A job, a party, a new community, a new school, a widow -- just examples. The definition causes action or feelings and is affected by the subjective perception of the situation. It's a fusing of psychological and sociological underpinnings.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
 

Asher, my nephew, points out that any situation has many aspects, and reframing part of it helps give a more wholistic perspective. So true.

It seems to me that "reframing" is the need for a new "definition of the situation." So in many ways it's in our own hands.

The point is: Reframing can be another tool in our array of coping mechanisms. It's not just a matter of positive thinking -- although that certainly is part of it. It means truly getting or adopting a different viewpoint or perspective on the problem.

It takes a little practice yet, in my experience, it works.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.

Go to comments: 0 posted
                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
 
Article Comments
Guidelines: Keep it civil and on topic; no profanity, vulgarity, slurs or personal attacks. People who harass others or joke about tragedies will be blocked. If a comment violates these standards or our terms of service, click the "flag" link in the lower-right corner of the comment box. To find our more, read our FAQ.