Fun-challenged, bloated 'Destiny' can't keep up with the earlier Joneses
“Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” - ★ ★
Dr. Henry Jones Sr. would have a stroke, if he weren't already deceased.
He'd be incensed that his son Junior (Harrison Ford) has tarnished the family franchise by involving himself in a rusty, dull-edged, nostalgia-fueled enterprise called “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.”
This bloated and fun-challenged sequel - with James Mangold now sitting in the director's chair - seems to be constructed from scenes Steven Spielberg might have deemed too preposterous even for his three sequels to 1981's “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”
Instead of the inspired innovation (and reinvention of classic cliffhanger serials) that defined “Raiders,” writers Jez Butterworth, John-Henry Butterworth, David Koepp and Mangold opt for an “Indy's Greatest Bits” approach for “Dial of Destiny.”
Remember how Indy rode an appropriated horse in “Raiders”? He does that here!
Remember how Indy got covered in icky arachnids in “Raiders”? He does it again (with different guest squirmy things)!
Remember how Indy fought against the Nazis in “Raiders”? He's still doing it!
But now it's 1969.
And Jones must stop more Nazis, led by former Hitler physicist Dr. Jürgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen, emanating low-voltage villainy), who works for NASA under an assumed identity. Voller wants to find the two halves of Archimedes' ancient golden dial that, when reunited, will enable him to fix what he considers to be history's mistake, the Nazi defeat in the 1940s.
If you think this means another tired time travel tale is in Indy's future, you would be correct. This one is even dopier than the one in “The Flash.”
“Dial of Destiny” opens in Europe during World War II when Ford, a robust 80, has been digitally de-aged to look remarkably like his younger Indy self. Yet, there remains a trace element of the creepy “uncanny valley” effect of something looking not quite right.
This lengthy and lackluster sequence concludes on a speeding Nazi train where Jones tries to save the life of his British buddy Basil Shaw (Toby Jones).
Flash forward to 1969 when Shaw's daughter and Indy's mercenary goddaughter Helena (an energizing Phoebe Waller-Bridge, a fusion of action, charisma and confidence) shows up one day to lure Jones out of collegiate academia to search for Archimedes' legendary dial.
Mangold directs this bomb-bastic movie with breathless indifference, racing from one action sequence to the next without any sense of fun and discovery that playfully suggests Jones is indeed “making this up as I go along.”
Antonio Banderas? He plays the indistinct, instantly forgettable character of Renaldo, Jones' old fisherman pal who helps save him from an attack by badly rendered CGI eels.
Banderas' blandness is equaled by Ethann Isidore's Teddy, Helena's young sidekick, a functional but charmless stand-in for Ke Huy Quan's memorable Short Round in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.”
Credit Ford for unapologetically acting his age while preserving the fantasy of being an action star at 80.
He manages a few precious moments of sincerity while John Williams' iconic score furiously infuses his scenes with artificial urgency, all in a sequel where the snappiest asset is Indy's whip.
Starring: Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Antonio Banderas, Toby Jones, Mads Mikkelsen
Directed by: James Mangold
Other: A Disney Studios release. Rated PG-13 for language, violence. 142 minutes