Golden gals: How two women in their 80s met at senior living community and became close friends

It's never been easy to make friends. It takes effort and give-and-take, and sometimes understanding and compassion.

The latest troubling trend has to do with how difficult it is for people to make lasting friendships these days.

Working from home, being hooked on social media and devices, or being easily turned off by comments or actions that don't align with your political beliefs are all making this thing we call friendship even more difficult.

For older folks, however, another reason has often made them unsure about making new friends. It can take you out of a long-established comfort zone. The work needed to build new friendships after loved ones have passed can become a key reason many don't move to leave their homes.

But it's not impossible for people in their golden years to make new friends. When they do, it can become something special, especially when it takes place at facilities designed as senior living communities. Those places rely on creating a family atmosphere.

The communications team at GreenFields in Geneva realizes this, as evident when sending notices about 89-year-old Dee Hii, formerly of Plainfield, and 80-year-old Margaret Elkins, formerly of St. Charles, striking an unlikely friendship as residents living across the hall from each other.

GreenFields claims these ladies are now like Thelma and Louise, Lucy and Ethel or Laverne and Shirley rolled into one.

If this were a TV show, Dee would be the outgoing personality. She's been at GreenFields just more than a year after the passing of her sister, with whom she lived for 27 years, and became part of the community's outreach group to help residents enjoy activities and meet others.

Margaret would be the shy one, reluctant to even move into GreenFields after the passing of her husband and son. Her daughter talked her into it, and meeting Dee has made it well worth it.

For Dee, Margaret represented the type of person she not only wanted to be friends with, but also could "watch over" and guide through a new living condition.

"I think I actually go towards people who are quieter because I feel like maybe I can help them," Hii said. "Sometimes they are so quiet that they don't do what they could be doing because they're afraid to try things."

When Margaret first got to GreenFields, she didn't want to do much of anything, Dee said. "I try to help them know that they can do whatever they want. I'm proud of what Margaret accomplished. It gives me great joy."

Dee's role in making the transition to GreenFields easier is not lost upon Margaret.

It's helped her get engaged in any number of activities from Bible study, bridge and bingo, to enjoying musical performances and going on outings.

"It's still a process that's taking place," Margaret said. "It's better every day but I still have a way to go. I was uprooted from my life of so many years.

"Living here is very different," she added. "But everyone is so friendly and nice. Dee has been my rock."

If these two ladies created a special bond because of the outgoing Dee's efforts, how many other GreenFields residents have become their friends?

"The way it's set up here, any time we walk down the halls and pass others everybody says 'hello,'" Dee explained. "Everybody considers everyone here a friend, even if they don't really know each other, because we're all part of this community."

Margaret admits she is still "transitioning," but does talk to everybody.

"It took me a while to do that," she said. "I come down and have dinner with friends."

Dee interjects with an observation about Margaret, saying, "But she's making friends all of the time."

That sums up the meaning behind avoiding loneliness and opening up to others. It's a mantra Dee lives by and one she is happy to convert others to.

dheun@sbcglobal.net