When the children take over holiday traditions

Here we are. Thanksgiving week. For years we all have had traditions, and everyone knew their part. What to cook, where to go, who hosts the gathering - a meeting of the clan and friends with favorite annual foods.

Well, it's here - this Thursday!

And there comes a time when the next generation takes over. It's quite a strange but wonderful sensation. I remember vividly when our children first took over some of the holidays, including Thanksgiving. Of course they were not children anymore but grown up with their own homes and our grandchildren.

The first one to do so was our son, Albert, and our daughter-in-law, Colleen. Baheej and I went to their home in Sarasota, Florida. It was a beautiful gathering and elegant meal. Colleen set such lovely table settings and decorations, and prepared wonderful food. She's an excellent cook and does everything in an elegant way. Perfect host and hostess.

Colleen cooked many of Baheej's favorite Nazareth recipes and made many recipes from her own family, from her childhood, including her delicious sweet potatoes laced with butter and brown sugar and glazed with melted and browned marshmallows. I'll bet many can remember that one, a classic 1950s-'60s dish.

With the kids, who were young then, she made crescent rolls stuffed with marshmallows, which melted in the oven. And rice pudding. And of course the traditional bread stuffing in addition to Baheej's Nazareth rice with lamb and pine nuts stuffing. It was a grand dinner and such happy time. They had their wonderful golden retriever named Caesar, who enjoyed a few leftovers.

I often think about a wonderful Thanksgiving hosted by our eldest son, Rod, and daughter-in-law, Tiffany, at their splendid new home on the Gulf on the west coast of Florida. All three of our sons and families were there. Daughter Leah and her family were abroad and could not come that year.

I was by myself because Baheej had died, and it was strange to go without him. But it was wonderful to be with the children and grandchildren. The meal was delicious and lots of fun. Tiffy had her sister and a best friend there and they did the cooking together, using favorite recipes from each of their families, all yummy. Ham, turkey, deviled eggs (which disappeared very fast), bread stuffing, green beans, many others, and a very special cornbread that was the best I've ever had. It was a large group and they set up a big, long table so we all ate together.

Holidays do change over the years. And it may not be the children who take over. It may be a friend, or niece, or cousin, or other relative. So if you had been the traditional host, you may now be a guest, or having dinner at a restaurant with friends.

The point is: However you celebrate, I wish everyone a great holiday. This year, I am actually doing the hosting here at my house for a couple of friends. I am roasting the stuffed turkey, and doing the gravy, cranberries and maybe a pecan or pumpkin pie. They are bringing all the side dishes, and maybe a key lime pie. A nice plan.

Our daughter, Leah, always said that Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday because it is relaxed, there's great food and it's just a good time with dear ones. I understand what she means. Thanksgiving should be a calm day, low-key, not a lot of pressure, not gifts, etc. I already have the table set for dinner on Thursday. I'm looking forward to it.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.