Are 'duplicates' a sign shopping has become a way to cope?

Shopping when you really don't need anything is dangerous. It not only results in too much stuff and unneeded expense, but it also can result in “duplicates.”

This caution applies to everything from groceries, to household items and supplies, to personal items for hobbies. Or items for your collections — and even clothing. Duplicates will result in too much of what you already have, as well as things you don't need.

Some of the danger zones are estate sales (for me), local festivals, casual “looking around” in stores and — the big one — online shopping.

If you are not a shopper, then you have some built-in protection. However, there may still be some temptations. I once saw a TV show about a man who collected beer paraphernalia and had every inch of his house decorated with these collectibles. Turns out they were valuable, but still ... I suspect he had duplicates.

Recently “duplicate” shopping happened to me, twice. One time in person and one time online. Online shopping and ordering is more of a problem because it's so easy to order and have it arrive soon, right on your doorstep, with little effort required.

For instance, I was looking for a French chicken stock recipe. I couldn't find my copy of “Around My French Table,” a very big hardcover cookbook. So I jumped online and ordered it, a used copy, so not too expensive. But the next day I found the original on my own bookshelf, so now I have two! And I have $22 of unneeded expense. The cookbook would have been easy to return but I didn't bother.

Then in a shop at local festival, I bought a pricey crystal votive candle holder. Later at home I discovered I already have the exact same one. So another duplicate.

What does this mean? I don't think it's age or memory. I think it's fun to buy new things, and too easy to buy online — or just getting carried away in the moment. I must think about this. There's no real harm done but it's unnecessary.

I personally think this overshopping and duplicate problem is sometimes related to living alone, and something to do when bereaved. Maybe I'm just too impatient, or it's simply too easy to shop online.

On the other hand, online shopping is a great convenience. There's no need to run around to stores, where you may not find the item. And it's safer with COVID and the flu still about. I buy almost everything online these days. Items are easy to return if it doesn't fit, is defective or just not needed.

This duplicate and unnecessary shopping is a good topic for reflection; why do we do it?

Often I do purposely buy duplicates of things I like, need and use, such as favorite shirts or slacks or jeans. Or backup laser toys for my kitties. And absolutely anything needed for the household is available online. That's different — that type of shopping is useful.

I think it might be that some of us are indeed impatient, or just act before checking it out. Maybe we don't like to leave the house to drive around running errands. And of course we are constantly bombarded with email marketing ads, tempting us to buy, buy, buy.

Actually, I do like shopping online and I have three sources where there is no shipping charge and easy, free returns. So why not? I learned how to rely on this during the height of COVID and now just find it convenient. And I do not like to run errands.

But the point is: I've discovered shopping online can easily lead to overshopping, overspending, unneeded purchases and even duplicates. This and estate sales are my biggest danger zones!

I think those of us who are living alone or bereaved are vulnerable to all of this. So what I've done is adopt a new practice of thinking twice before hitting the “buy now” button. And I avoid estate sales. This saves a lot of returns and overstock!

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.