Birthdays, festivals and celebrations continue at 'that time of year'

Well, I'm back in my difficult time of year again. It started June 22 - the annual date of Baheej's first stroke 10 years ago - and it usually continues through our wedding anniversary, Aug. 18, with many hard days in between.

Baheej's birthday was Saturday, July 23, which also is the birthday of my dear friend, Diane. We used to all celebrate together. Tough day. My beloved Baheej and I used to make a big happy occasion over each other's birthdays. And now Diane died April 7 this year. July 23 is not the same, but I still celebrate anyway.

Luckily summertime is also a great season for local and regional festivals, and Baheej enjoyed all of them. We always went to Geneva's Swedish Days in June, and often to the Bristol Renaissance Faire up in Wisconsin sometime in July or August. This Medieval festival is rather commercial but quite fun. And we always went to the Fourth of July fest right here in Sleepy Hollow.

So this is a bittersweet period of time, as well as a difficult one, for me. Baheej died Aug. 11, the funeral was Aug. 13, and he was buried in New Hampshire on Aug. 16, two days before our anniversary. These dates, for me, are still pretty awful, stressful.

But this year my friend, Jolie, and I went to Swedish Days on the Saturday of the fest, exactly one month ago, on June 25. We had a happy day. I hadn't been there since 2019. It was canceled in 2020 because of COVID-19 and the festival happened it 2021, but was scaled down. However, I didn't go in 2021 because the pandemic was still raging and I couldn't risk it. Now, I am vaccinated and double-boosted.

So this year we went and we went early to avoid crowds. We did our shopping, and checked in at the Swedish store, The Gift Box, to stock up on lingonberries and other items. We didn't find many bargains in the festival this year - the economy I suppose. Prices are high everywhere.

I did get one bargain, a beautiful antique Norwegian rosemaling board. It was sort of a fluke. A lady had donated it and said to sell it at a low price. So I snatched it up of course. Then we just came home after lunch at the Stockholm Pub. Delicious Swedish meatballs for me! It was a fun day, despite the rain and lack of bargains. And it's always fun to keep up with traditional excursions.

The point is: Perhaps this is what they mean when people say, "We need to strike a balance," and "Learn to live with it" (i.e. COVID). And I think this advice is probably true. We need to find a way to get back out there. So I am trying. It's worth a try.

This is also true of the "tough time of year" experienced by many people - the difficult dates associated with our beloveds who have died. I find the best defense is to be aware of such approaching dates and make a plan to help protect myself. I think this is good to do, and in whatever way that works for you.

So onward to the fall festivals, but in the meantime let's enjoy summer!

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.