Basking in the sunshine as the days grow longer

There is a reason why our cats and dogs bask in sunbeams coming through the window on cool days. Simply, it makes them feel better.

Well, I think this is true for many people, too.

Why do people from northern Europe flock to Spain and Greece to sit in the sun? They feel better and relaxed in the sun. Of course it helps to be on vacation, as well!

The sun is a big attraction in those destinations for people from the northern countries with long winters and cloudy days of snow and rain. The Swedes call those long winter dreary days "the darkness." They say, "Oh, the darkness is here again." They light lots of candles to add cheer.

The Dutch relate to these cloudy days as cozy, and combat them with family gatherings over warming meals, good coffee and tasty cakes.

We know now there is a medical basis for seeking sunlight. Long periods without sunlight cause some people to experience seasonal affective disorder, which manifests itself in a sort of depression and other negative symptoms.

This is especially a problem in far northern countries where it never gets light or very light in the winter. And of course many of our favorite activities are not possible during dark and cold winters.

Well, when bereaved and feeling down, I think we also need to seek the sunshine. Usually I feel better. Some take a vacation to sunny weather. But it could simply be a long walk on a sunny day, or even a walk around the yard or the neighborhood.

And often there are sunbeams shining through the windows around here, and our days are now getting much longer in late March.

My beloved Baheej grew up in a warm and sunny country. Actually they made a point to stay out of the sun and sat in the shade. They respected the heat and stayed carefully out of the sun, just as we stay out of the severe cold. But that's a different issue.

Baheej believed that it's in our hands to make every day a good day, a happy day.

This is not just getting on the "be positive" bandwagon. It's about taking charge of our own lives and our own happiness. Of course the care of friends and family are a big part of happiness, but ultimately we are responsible for our individual happiness. But everything seems more difficult in grief.

So the point is: I try to abide by the advice Baheej believed in and practiced. And I'm not much affected by the darkness. Personally, I turn on lots of lights in the house, light lots of candles, do lots of cozy cooking of comfort soups and dishes. Listen to music, play with my kitties, read, write, stay in touch with friends and families. Not great for the electric bill nor the waistline! However, it works for me.

And besides the days are getting longer now, which means more sunshine. So I am enjoying the sunshine ...

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.