People who help you in life may come from surprising places
Years ago my beloved husband, Baheej, told me about this phenomenon — which is “people who help you in life without a particular reason,” just because they think you or worthy or just want to help. They help with your family, your studies, your work, or just yourself.
And it's true. In the ensuing years it has happened to me as well. I often still think about his advice and insight into human nature. Coming up on 10 years now, but I remember very clearly.
His favorite example was when he went to Holland from Nazareth hoping to study. He had been studying law but decided the law was not for him, so he went to explore. He was much more interested in a career in the social sciences.
By chance he met a professor who taught at the International Institute of Social Studies in The Hague. This professor took an interest in Baheej and helped him get admitted. First for a diploma in social welfare policy and then continue on to the master's degree in social science. This help changed the whole trajectory of Baheej's career. They studied in English there, which Baheej already knew because of the British mandate in the Holy Land when he grew up. The Hague gave him a foundation to come to the U.S. to get his doctorate. That's when we met. So there you go ...
And in the meantime, this has happened to me too, in several ways. Not in Holland, although we have traveled there many times over the years. But I mean people I don't know well who have helped me — a friend of a friend, etc. Chance encounters mostly.
So, there are people out there who help others without any personal or obvious motive, they just do it, and this can make a huge difference.
I think many have heard of the “six degrees of separation.” It is a phrase that means many of your important “connections” in life are not your best friends or relatives, but people separated from you by a friend of a friend, acquaintance of that friend, etc., It is sometimes very remote. It could be six circles out. Sometimes it feels like an accident, the six degrees of separation. But these people may help you, give you a break or a contact that makes all the difference.
Many may know that this dynamic was featured in a play called just that — “Six Degrees of Separation.” But the expression got picked up in the popular vernacular to mean people you don't know well or not at all, but who help you. And give you a break or help you find a path forward.
The point is: As I mentioned, this has happened to me several times over the years. Including how this column got started. So I think this is a reminder to stay open to these opportunities when they come your way. This is really the process behind what we call “networking” today. The person who helps may be four or five degrees of separation from you, or more. That's OK. It sure has helped me.
• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.