Let's be kind to one another, for it makes the world better

I was talking with my dear friend Diane in Long Island about kindness. I've been thinking about this because many people are pretty frustrated being cooped up at home, and not always being kind.

So Diane alerted me to some nice writings of the 19th century novelist Robert Louis Stevenson. He addressed the topic of kindness.

He wrote: “It is the history of our kindness that alone makes this world tolerable.” And he was especially interested in “the effect of kind words, kind looks, kind letters.”

This is exactly what I was thinking about as important — because beginning last summer I started hearing reports from people about neighbors and even friends or family who aren't being very kind. Probably everyone is too much at home, with too much time on their hands, and too much time to meddle in the affairs of their neighbors, especially in townhouse and condominium neighborhoods. Close quarters and governing boards with lots of rules and regulations to enforce are part of the problem.

What I've heard about are not federal crimes or terrible acts, but rather things that are out of character — too fussy and complaining. Some people aren't being kind, giving out more violation notices for minor infractions such as a poster on a door, or a barking pet, or complaints that a neighbor's TV is too loud. In one incident, a resident recovering from an operation asked her neighbor to walk her dog when the neighbor was walking her own dog, and she was refused. Just didn't want to bother, I guess. Every person for herself/himself. This is not a good path.

Americans are famous for volunteerism and helping others, and giving. I realize there is a huge amount of giving and helping in these stressful times, which is wonderful and visible in TV and newspaper reports. But there is this other behavior going on — and it's worthwhile to rein it in and be more kind.

There is a funny episode of the old TV series “Frasier,” where Frasier puts an antique knocker on his door in his condominium building and the tenant governing board gives him a citation and forces him to take it down. The amusing part is all the silly and unnecessary antics between the various residents as they try to settle their little dispute.

But I don't think this current situation is amusing. We certainly need to be helping each other and not causing unneeded tension. Everyone has enough pressure waiting their turn for the COVID-19 vaccination, depending where they are on the priority list.

The point is: Luckily I am not having this problem in my neighborhood, but I do know it's going on out there. Not everyone and not everywhere, but it sounds like enough to be on the alert to be kind and tolerant.

We all still have a long “stay-at-home” winter to get through. I think it's worth more effort. And the bereaved are especially vulnerable in these difficult times. They need support and friendship, not hassle. Time to bake (or buy) a cake and give it to your neighbor ... along with a kind look, a kind word, a kind letter.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.